Wednesday, December 26, 2012

uncover you cover you

all i wanna do
is hold you near

all i wanna do
is hug you

all i wanna be
is by your side

will you let me
will you trust me?

i try my best
day to day
to steer you to the sunlight

but you cover your eyes
duck behind your hair

try your best
to stay a shadow to me

can't you see
that you are the most
important one to me?

the focus in all
that's been blurry
all these years?

all i wanna do
is tell you how much
you mean to me

but i know
you can't listen
for very long

without tears

so let me hug
you near

and hold you
until you're warm

until the day awakens
your soul

until the light comes
to you again

(stay)


Sunday, December 16, 2012

alone times

they say
you should learn
to be alone

and like it

but it's hard
for me
to even try

every time something
good happens, i
want to see it
through your eyes

every time something
bad happens, i
want to hide in the
sanctuary of your arms

and every time i
sit alone in my thought
i think of conversations
we had

and how i should have
said something more

something special

like a jewel made
out of words that
you could carry in your
pocket

to take out
on those first few
grey days of winter

when the only
colour you can see

is the love in your heart

(within)



Monday, November 26, 2012

you won

walking
in the chilled air
hesitating
with each
step
carefully plotting
each thought in my head

all for naught

i tripped
again
i misspoke
again
i unraveled
again

and you won

why must we
continue this
tedious play

where i'm
insanity
and you're
reality

and never the twain
shall meet

one more
choked back word
one more
given up dream
will cause me to
vanish

right before your eyes

not that
you'll ever miss me

you never saw me
to begin with

(erase me)



Thursday, November 8, 2012

going

there were
many times
when we were to-gether
that i had no idea
where we were going

the road
rolled out of an
endless spool
taking us further
and further
from your home

until i wasn't sure
what state
we were in

physically
as well as
mentally

but
when i leaned my head
on your shoulder

i knew i was safe

and
when i reached for
your hand
as we walked

i knew i was connected

and
when i closed
my eyes
and listened to
your voice

i could feel
the love
in every word that
you said

even if
all you were saying
was
"it's just around the corner....."

 home is just down the street

(near)



Friday, November 2, 2012

walking moon

when i begin to think
about the many times
i've walked home alone

with only
the tracings of another
to guide my way back

i start thinking about
how i've grown up
inside

into an independence
i never was suited to

searching aimlessly for home

some say the moon
can calm you

shining a light
down roads
unfamiliar to your sight

but i always saw
the moon
as a willful witness

adorning
lovers
with a ghost-like glow

while chilling
the heart of the
lonely ones

_right down to the very bone_



(search)





Thursday, November 1, 2012

matched

sometimes i worry
that you become weary
over
all the attention
i show you

and that all the fuss
i make
is seen as some
silly girl crush

not to be believed

but then i see you
meet my ardor
with a loving look
in return

and i hear you
tell me of your love
(before i have a chance
to babble)

and when i feel you
squeeze me close
and in a single movement

lift me in the air

i'm floating
in your strength

and i'm living
in your love

and i'm knowing
all over again

that i'm as
cherished
as i ever hoped
to be

leaning into
a certainty

of one well met with me
(true)



soundcloud:  https://soundcloud.com/jamison99/matched



Wednesday, October 31, 2012

unmasked

you loved me
before you met me

you enthralled me
before i knew you

and slowly
with baby steps

i lowered the mask
to my heart

scared of being someone
you didn't expect

scared of revealing
too much of my frailties

scared of  being the real me


but i found out
almost too quickly
that you had read between the lines

and found me anyway

how much of me
is that transparent?

how much of me
is the freak i think i am?

how much of me
do you truly adore?

how long will your goodness stay?

i'll never know
the answers
from inside
if i hold onto barriers
on the outside

so here i am

accept me for me

and i will love you
for you

no masks
no games
no questions

just the hope
for something real

in a wilderness of masquerade

(new)



Tuesday, October 30, 2012

sketched by light

i let you in
my room

you let me wear
your shirt

i let you listen
to my records

you let me borrow
your dvds

i inspired you
to look beyond
your borders

you showed me
that order
could actually be fun

and as the sun
outlined our kisses
in the morning light

i remembered you
murmuring words
i had written
a thousand times

hoping
they would be said
to me

tracing over
my imperfections
with your strong
caresses

until i was
whole
again

one lifetime
sketched by the sun

can it ever happen again?

(alive)




Tuesday, October 23, 2012

expects

it's never going to be
the way you pictured it

hearts and flowers
don't often dwell
on the same tree

and it's never going to be
the way you want it

sometimes the good
you deserve
is only going to live in
your mind

but if you live your life
creatively
and you open your eyes
widely

the things you get
will become
the things you need

and the blessings you find
will become
the hopes you treasure

if you just let go of
the fantasy
and see through
the reality

with your heart

(dwell)



audio version here:  http://soundcloud.com/jamison99/expects


Saturday, October 20, 2012

then

ever found a quiet place
all to yourself
where you can be yourself
and think things through?

i have

have you ever been
just where you needed to be
and felt like you belonged
to the world
to the sky
to the air

....to everything?

i have

it's a feeling
you would fight
to the death
to feel once more

it's a part of your life
you'd hope to remember
again and again

searching for
where you were
to strengthen
what you are
day after day

holding it
like a talisman
night after night

saying
it was worth the tears
it was worth the fight
to feel reality
for just one night

for just one moment in time......

(wish)




Sunday, September 30, 2012

handle

when you reach
for
my hand
out of the blue

it takes my breath away

for i am learning you
inside
by what you do
outside

and when you
seek out
to touch me
first

it makes me
feel like
your mind
remembers
where i am

and your heart
reaches out
to make
a connection

to pull me back to you

i promise
never
to stray far

and when
you reach out

i'll comply

as the rest
of life
goes walking
by

(tug)



Saturday, September 29, 2012

conquer

at night
when the darkest hour
comes

and the trains
call out
in the stillness
of the night

i linger
over you
one last time

soothing you
into
a hard fought
sleep

do you know
when you relax
as i touch
your cheek

that i feel
like i've conquered
the world
in one quiet
movement?

a million bombs
could go off
all around us

and all i
would do
is cover your body
with mine

look upon
your face

and warm you
for all eternity

 just to see you wake again

(dream)



Wednesday, September 26, 2012

over me

trust
means i can
close my eyes
to the sight of you

and still be able
to know what you'll do

hope
means i can
open my mind
to the idea of you

and still be able
to dream what you'll be

love
means i can
give my heart
to the being of you

and still be able
to feel what you'll become

to be certain
under all the worries

to be softened
under all the troubles

to be calm
underneath your shadow

it's the only place
i long to be

your goodness
is all i see

(give)



audio version here :  http://soundcloud.com/jamison99/over-me




Tuesday, September 25, 2012

entombed

ever painted yourself
in a corner

in a land of no escape?

ever been inside
a cave

on an island you can't sail off of?

ever been
the last person
in the room
to get the message
because all you could see

was the fog around you?

i feel
all the time
like i'm looking
through crystal clear glass

into a world i'll never be a part of.

too awkward
to live

too stupid
to die

too much
to ask for

to be normal like you

entombed by
the mediocrity of
my own imagination

waiting for the storms
to start again


for
at least with the storms
i know where my place
shall be

lost forever
in a crystal glass sea


(look)




Monday, September 24, 2012

ourselves

you
and i

have been through
too much

to let the ridiculous
separate us

even if
the ridiculous
comes from
within ourselves

sometimes
we must fight
ourselves

to keep
the beauty
of
the both of us
to-gether

when i feel
the unnatural
become rational
in our eyes

it makes me
feel
strong again

let me
renew in you
what's been
re-lit in me

our fires
were meant to
burn

....to-gether

(near)


Saturday, September 22, 2012

touched

softly
touch my cheek
and hold me close

and let me
relax with you
one more time

gently
brush your fingers
across my lips

and maybe
they'll stop
trembling

you've stirred
feelings in me
that maybe shouldn't
be found

and you've
opened a heart
that never was
tough
to begin with

so slowly
cherish me
one more time

before you go

and teach me
how to heal
what i was

and become
what is yours

before you leave
again

(grow)


Friday, September 21, 2012

shine

you ask me
how you help me
when you think you don't
even touch me

you wonder
what you do
to make me well again

it's easy

you keep me smiling
every day

you make me laugh
about the most childish
of things

you make me forget
to be careful
of every word

and you let me be me

you don't need to
talk to me
about my hell

i live it

you don't need to
fix what's broken
inside of me

i hide it

you don't need to
carry the weight
on my shoulders

i got it

all you need to do
is look
and listen

laugh
and babble on

be yourself
around me
near me
and beside me

and the shine
of your smile
will see me through
my darkness

to the hope of you
oh
what wonders
your love can do
(shine)


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

endings

who knows why
you didn't call that night

who knows why
i waited

but i waited
and you didn't

and it ended
something
inside of me

endings, in books
are cataclysmic, and final

endings, in movies
are a fade to black from light

but endings, in reality
are whispers against the wind

i'm unheard again

unheard
unseen
undone

unfinished,
in fable and moral

but you don't need to look back
to realize

that our stories will be told again
to ears and hearts
kinder
to what we really are

(fade)



.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

smile

if you can find
delight in one another

with the cold uncertainty
of the future
just on
the road ahead....

then you can
face anything

even death has no
finality
when you are within the
smile of another....

touching hearts
one to another

waiting for
the awkward promise
of the oncoming days

(linger)


Saturday, August 25, 2012

real

i don't want you perfect
i just want you real

i don't want you right
i just want you true

i don't want you to try
i just want you to be

and be... and be.. and be.....

be exactly who you are

and i will love you
the more for it

for the more
i learn about you
being you

the more i can learn
about me

being me

(true)




Thursday, August 23, 2012

wordless

i don't think
i've ever felt
this cherished before

when you hold me
to the light
i feel your gladness
all through your hugs

and when you
draw me near
to kiss me

i feel your body
relax and move
slowly forward

asking permission
to enter my world
with ever nuzzle
and squeeze

amazing me
with every mood
that you make

without even saying a word

(close)


Saturday, August 11, 2012

so right

remember
that day
in the park

right before it rained?

you reached over
to touch my chin
with your fingertips

right before you kissed me

did you know
i felt the your heart
in your touch

right down to my very soul?

then the rain
interrupted our kiss
and we ran like children

right down the path to-gether

madness
and frolicking
happiness
and giggling

all in a burst of sudden love

right down the line

(go)


Monday, August 6, 2012

gone

i felt you
slip away
the moment i thought
i had you

i clutched
at the nothingness
night after night

trying to figure out
what was said
or what i thought

to make you
turn from me

and even now
i look
inside my heart

thinking
of what i was
and what i can't be

and what you saw
in me

those first few shining days
when i was perfect


(hide)


Saturday, August 4, 2012

watch

you're never
going to get me
entirely

it won't be your fault

the book hasn't been
written
to explain what i'm
thinking

the picture hasn't been
taken
to show you what i
see

and there will be
days
when all i can do
to keep my
sanity

is walk away
from your
strong embrace

no matter how
warm
you are

no matter how
much
you listen

i'm the one

who has to
understand me
first

before i can even
reach a hand out
to you

let me walk away

and i'll come back
just that much
stronger

even if
i'm deathly afraid
of each step
i take

(wait)



Monday, July 30, 2012

your marilyn

i don't want to be
your marilyn
mixing you all up
in my pain

no, i don't want to be
your marilyn
clinging to you
when it all
comes down

i want to be the one
who'll listen to you
all night

not with all the
answers,
but just the right
questions

to guide you back home

but i can't help you
with the torment
still inside

i can't support you
with the hell
all around me

i have to stop
and grow
myself

before i can
turn loving eyes
to you

before
i can understand
the dark side
of you

(truth)





Friday, July 27, 2012

apart

it was time
to go

no question

the air was
getting colder
the time was
getting shorter

he knew he had to leave

so he drew back
from her embrace,
zipped up his jacket,

and walked on

she followed
his form
with her eyes

mesmerized
by the confident way
he walked

would he
turn around
at least once?

would he look
and see her
looking hopefully
at him?

she watched him
until he turned
at the old
familiar corner

watched him
stop

touch the wall

and look
straight at her

he smiled
blew her a kiss

and walked on

she smiled
inside

let go
of the breath
she had
desperately
hung on to

wiped the
tears
from her cheek

and moved on
to the rest of
her day

(relax)


audio version here:  http://soundcloud.com/jamison99/apart


















Tuesday, July 17, 2012

all over again

in quiet times
i'll carry your love
within my heart

to hold inside
and discover
and feel its power

all over again

in desperate times
i'll carry your words
within my head

to remember once more
and listen to
and linger with

all over again

and
in another time
i'll carry my hopes
within my soul

to take out
and share with you
and feel you care

all over again

audio version: http://soundcloud.com/jamison99/all-over-again



Sunday, July 15, 2012

runaway

if you knew
you were running away
i know
you would call me
first

and like the flash
i'd be there
in the early morning
downpour

ready to hold
your too light
suitcase

listening to you
rage on
about
the darkness
in your soul
and the heaviness
in your heart

and when i
hear you talk
about
the
cool sound
our feet make
on the wet cobblestone
path

then
i would suggest
that
a trip to the pancake house
would be needed
before you left
the country

and over the syrup
and the butter
and the orange juice
i hope you would
look at me

sigh

and realize
you were already
at peace

and then
and only then
would i lean in
quietly
(over coffee and cream)

and kiss your fears away

(stay)

audio version:  http://soundcloud.com/jamison99/runaway



Thursday, July 12, 2012

deal

don't tell me
you know what i'm thinking

(i haven't figured it out
myself)

and don't tell me
you know how i'm living

(i'll never understand
the rocky tides
within me}

just tell me
you'll be near
when i'm at my loudest

tell me
you'll stay close
when i'm at my saddest

and i'll try
to believe you

i promise
i will always try
to understand you

and the calmness
that you bring

until the
very end
of my complex days

(meld)



audio version here:  http://soundcloud.com/jamison99/deal




Wednesday, July 11, 2012

dance

when we dance
at the end of the day

i feel you
relax in my arms

tenderly
leaning your head
on my shoulder

what day has come
to make you
so tense?

what time has past
that made you
so sad?

and how can i be
such a relief to you?

i never ask
i never tell

i barely speak

i just hold you
very close

and slowly
circle the room
with our love

feeling your relief
feeling your gratefulness

feeling like
i can never do enough

feeling like
i could never let you go

(still)



Tuesday, July 10, 2012

talk

why didn't
you tell me
i'd fall in love with you?

why didn't you tell me
that my soul
would be gone
the moment
i met you?

you sit
across from me
tenderly looking
my way

not saying a word

but  i can't keep
from staring
at you

with hope
in my eyes

waiting

for any sort of sign

so i can draw
your warmth
close to my heart

and cherish
the change
you'll bring into my life....

if you would only
speak
with more than the want
in your eyes

and talk
with more than the beauty
in your soul

(tell)


Sunday, July 8, 2012

something

i won't say
that i'm nothing without you

i am somebody

but,
when all is said and done

i don't like the somebody
i am
without you

if i can't think about you
in that special way

if i can't talk to you
about anything
and everything

if i can't exist
knowing you're
the bookend
to the volume
of my most dastardly plans

i wouldn't know how to exist

i'd end up walking
with the rocky path at my feet
once again

and i don't want to go back

i am somebody
without you

but nothing matters
without you
in my life

(s

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

moon speak

how big
the moon is
to-night

how dark
the clouds are
this morrow

how strange
and eerie
and huge
the whole world is

i'm quite lost
within it

sit with me
close as you dare

hold my hand
in this deep
and dismal hour

help me remember
why
we have come down
this path

and make me forget
everything else

use simple words
that mirror
the thoughts of your heart

_and i will believe you_

.....as far as the moonlight
touches the sea

i will believe thee

(yes)


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

still song

the other day
i could hear you hum
a snippet of a tune
from mexico

it weaved
into the air
like a wordless poem
dancing
in my imagination

enough to make me hold still
in wonderment

and yet
in my shyness
(and yes, i do get shy)
i couldn't ask you
where the tune came from

and i didn't want to stop
the melody

for anything in the world

so i kneeled there
holding "diary of a wimpy kid"
in mid-air
looking like a cut-rate statue
for barnes and noble

my mind
a thousand miles away
in the country of my mother

thank you
for something
you'll never know about


Saturday, May 19, 2012

wind comb

the wind
works its way
through my hair

messing up
the careful stylings
of my hands

i let nature
work its magic
on me

knowing it
has had years of practice
on its side

hoping it
takes the bad thoughts away
from my mind

or replaces them
with the vision of you
smiling at me
from across the table

on that last
heavenly day
of my existence

(renew)

sound version here:  http://soundcloud.com/jamison99/wind-comb




Friday, May 18, 2012

l'amour de la jeune fille

you have to remember
there's a girl in me
that hasn't grown up

and i don't want her to

i won't show her
to your friends
i won't let her out
even to my closest pals

so she won't embarrass you

just know her
love her
be near her
when it's cold

(especially when it's bitter cold)

and if you give her
a chance to live
in your heart

the blessings of
warmth and
playful joy
will follow behind you

supporting you every step of the way

with giggles, and hugs, and chocolate
all the days
of your life

(trust)


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

in the rain

whisper softly
in my ear
one last time

let the weather fall
where it may
as you speak to me

there will be many days
there will be many nights
that i sit
and remember the time

when thunder roared
and the wind blew
and the torrents poured
over us

and i didn't feel
anything at all

but you

(safe)



Friday, March 16, 2012

the words of my book

the words
of my book
soar high
into the sky

they dare to touch
the sun at its brightest

they hope to see
the moon in its darkness

they collapse
into clouds
and ride into
the rain

before coming back
to me
all care-worn
from the journey

waiting to
whisper
the secrets
of the world

into my longing ears