blue jean woes

man, my jeans have lint
all over them

i swear i washed them
just a-while ago

why does this happen to me?

zoom meeting in an hour
and even though i know
no one can see my
pants

i see them
out of the corner
of my eye

and they remind me
that i have the world
totally covered

even though i don't

oh well
i'll just turn off
my camera

display my
curious george
profile picture

and hope for the best

it's about all
you can do
these days

(hide)

away

i have tried to be
over clouds and under sun
always on the run

i was once a bank
full of proper full of piss
very little bliss

now i float outside
far away from dark of night
closer to the light

somewhere

things still grows
outside

they say

trees still knows
what is good

and gracefully 
they sway

inside i trip
over my own shadow
inside i breathe in
what i can't swallow
inside i'm trapped
by my own desires

the fire still burns
outside somewhere

they say

but only God knows where

(there)

fishing

some think on paper
some think only on the page
i think to the sky

sometimes the bad thoughts
seem to take over my soul
shooting to the sun

i have to harness
all the harm that i can think
fishing for the stars

safer

hiding inside
while the world
passes on

safer at home
they say

washing my
hands over and
over again

like some
misgotten play

the ones who
go up are the
lucky ones

their dreams
are all coming
true

but i'd want to
breathe a thousand
bad breaths inside

before i fly off
in the blue

i'd rather stay
in hell with you

(true)

bottled

if i hide it all
inside a clear milk bottle
no one will come near

--------------------

did you ever think
we would be our own country
hiding in ourselves?

---------------------

glass surrounding me
plastic thoughts repel the pain
steel within my heart

---------------------

a sparrow

i never looked outside
as much as i do
now

i mean
i loved the sunset
all orange and fire

since way back

and i stared
at water's waves
as they lapped the land
into submission

since i was young

but i never looked
so closely
at what surrounded
me before

life underscored
by silence makes you
long for the patience

of the untamed

is that a sparrow
at my window?

it's not a robin
all red from pride
and importance

it's not a turkey
because i'm not
salivating for gravy
to go with it

it's not a blackbird
because i'm not
singing to it in
yesterday's tune

a sparrow it is
alive and free

just a few inches
away from me

i sit 
and watch it fly

(goodbye)

quiet

i remember
on one of the last days

when you took me
to that foreign restaurant

you kept apologizing
for the old people
surrounding us

but they had more life
that i did

dancing with their eyes
and quipping over their
decaf coffee

not a care 
in the world

i remember
just as we left

when we paused
at the rickety bridge

i kept looking
at the koi pond
surrounding the eatery

it had more life
than we did

waving its regrets
and splashing its complaints
to the shore

not a worry
in the world

how can i be
so self-centered?

how can we be
so untender?

why can't we speak
more than we've been
taught?

hiding our answers
and tying the knot
to our emotions

keeping still
while the fires rage
within us

(quiet)