Saturday, April 29, 2017


what's foggy
in my eyes

is forever
in my heart

what's shaky
in my voice

is steady
in my head

what began
with us
out in the misty light

will be carried
with me
until darkness comes

no one
will remember

but me


Thursday, April 27, 2017

death in dreams to come

i have a fear
of death

you wouldn't
think so
with all the
books i read

about dead
archaic maladies,


and other sad

i lie in bed

thinking of
the last moment
of agony

was there
a clarity
just before it went dark?

i never thought
i would die
of my plague

i was always
i would conquer

but the closer
i get
to the sun going

the more i fear
that i haven't done

for everyone

i just want to help
while i can
when i can
for who i can

before the end
takes the colours away



Wednesday, April 26, 2017


to dance

to lead you
around the room

to mold you
to my version
of the music

to breathe in
the breaths
marvel at
the steps

share in
the happiness

of you

trail around
the room
with me

the best is yet to be


library system

the system
i work for
is alive in books,
ideas, art, talk,

most anything

we almost fight
to redefine
what a library is

with gentle voices
that weave
pleasant undertones

suggesting new roads
to travel
in the steps of
knowledgeable people
we never met

but want to be like

to do good
with what you have
in a job
that you love

is a dream
i never want
to wake from



Tuesday, April 25, 2017

one time

one time
when the days are long
we'll play all the songs
that we can remember
in the sunshine
then sit down and share
our dreams

one night
when the moon sits still
we'll lay on the hill
tracing all the galaxies
'til the morning
then snuggle up and dream
our dreams

never fear a whispered dream


Friday, April 21, 2017

blessing in disguise

you must have
been hooded
and covered in black

you must have
been jaded
and not looking back

i must have
been troubled
and ready for attack

because i let you in

you could have
been subtle
and full of mystery

you could have
been trouble
and filled with agony

i could have
been muddled
and full of misery

because i let you win

and there was no turning back



my he and she
and me
of a family

isn't the same
as the she and she
and he and she
that my friend has

and the he and she
and sometimes he
that live down the way
don't begin to convey
my "normal" experiences

but no matter
the equation
(parenthesis and squared)

no matter
the phrasing
(meta or otherwise)

there's always
the journey to love
and respect

the playfulness
and protectiveness
is there

so there

don't compare
the quantities
of participants

don't worry about
the definitions
of roles

just love and know
you are


just the way you are



they thought we were happy
but we weren't

she wasn't as perfect
as all those pictures

she nagged and yelled
and pointed a finger

at all i did

you didn't know her

and what she was growing
inside of herself
would have been against me

he'd be staring at me
with her cold black eyes

measuring each weakness

all she did that day
was walk away

back to me
shoulders squared

all i saw was her
stomping out

face forward
towards the storm

i didn't do anything
to her
that she didn't do
to herself

i swear


Thursday, April 20, 2017

at work

when the rain fell in the midst of the day
time walked slowly and carefully undone
and the whispers they weaved along the way
were filled with their laughter and painful puns

what happens at work helps pass the hours
what happens in the back melts the tensions
what's said in confidence strengthens power
what's said in silhouette goes without mention

don't misconstrue the smiles and furtive glances
please don't think we are sarcastic and mean
don't miss out on these humanistic chances
that reveal kindnesses in what's unseen

walk gently with us on our twisted way
we tell you everything in nothing we say


Sunday, April 16, 2017

traveling in mind

when i was gone
and away from

when i couldn't feel
hands or legs

or hope

i lie in wait
in a tomb of

and looked for ways to escape

i found people
who shared their

with camera in face
or microphone to

calmly recounting
an ordinary day

in a selfie kind of world

you may think
these people
are conceited

a studio of one
inflicting themselves
on the universe

but i remember
the days of pause

when the sun outside
was calling

but i couldn't answer

those days were shortened
by images of new york,
florida, california

and other places i will never know

travelling in mind
waiting for body
to follow

hobbling behind
but every growing

thank you for taking me on the ride


so long

to the easy

to the past

to the finishes

that were never going to last

to the bad thoughts
that plague my

to the hated
the troubles
and the fights

it's time to find me
in all this mess

and own the troubles
that brewed
and put me to the test

live again



Thursday, April 13, 2017


i try
very hard
not to baby my emotions

i try
to be brave
at all times

but something inside me
after the plague

walls drew closer
the world got bigger

the eyes of a thousand people
could be felt
on my face

all i want to do
is walk away
from places i used to
linger in

all i want to say
is hidden inside
a foggy brain

all i want to be
is that fearless girl
that knew everything

and wanted
to tell it all
in one breath

before the lights went out inside


Tuesday, April 11, 2017

a pain

it started
as a pain
(just a small pain)
in my side

it grew
into a swelling
(but was it a swelling?)
in my side

then a day passed
then another
(don't know how many)
and i waited

and the pain
turned into a habit
a thing i had to work around

more pillows
less covers
hot compress
long baths

anything but going
to the doctor

anything but talking
to a friend

because going would mean
something was wrong

telling would mean
something was there

hiding means
nothing was there
to hurt me

and the pain stayed
too long

until it changed me




when the rain comes
i open all the windows

just to hear the drops
beating down on
the rooftops

i lie down on the bed
and close my eyes

and feel myself
floating away
in the new rivers forming

gliding up and down
the streets and valleys

looking for a peaceful
place to land

far away
from the grey i've made

into the rainbow
of the sea



gold was the colour
of my mistress's hair

it billowed in the wind
as she led me astray

down fields that bowed
in sweet respect

never letting on
what was ahead

until it was too late.....


end of the day

at the end
of the day

when moon's play
is close to starting

my heart is full
of sadness

watching the sun
inch away

you put
arms around me

surrounding me
with reassurances

what begins is
what ends again

you whisper
to me

as the darkness
covers what we'll be

you and me
is all i see


Wednesday, April 5, 2017

memory of love

the memory
of love
is sometimes harder
that the real thing

your mind
what once was

your heart
sketches in
what was needed

your spirit
dances around
what was a dream

hoping for a reality
that may never come

fantasies come
to those who sleep

not those deep
in the dawn
of the day


Sunday, April 2, 2017

not to-day

what's going to happen
when they've all gone away
and left us to ourselves?

i can't think about that day
maybe to-morrow
not to-day

what will we become
when there's just you and me
and no one around to blame?

i can't think of that entity
maybe to-morrow
not to-day

will we be content
with all the boring hours
that normal people live?

i can't see what will be ours
maybe to-morrow
not to-day

tortured rhymes of square words
crawling down the page
never seem give much hope

i can't see past my own age
maybe to-morrow
not to-day

maybe to-morrow
not to-day


outside the lines

in times of pain
your spirit comes to me

coaxing me out to play

and i gladly dance
outside the lines

running down grassy steps
towards the endless blue
of the sky

and the limitless love
in your heart

whisper my name again
the rain is so loud here
and i'll lose my way
without you to guide me

i've come so far already