eyed

i try so hard

to meet you

to see you

eye to eye

but the sea

of endless blue

forever

that once was

has turned into

the torrid

turbulent waters

that i've drowned in

many times

before

the rest of the world

sees you as charitable

respectable

even normal

but i know the chaos

behind the eyes

that i thought 

lead a path

to your heart

here's the part

where i shun you

once and for all

blink

and you'll miss it

(go)

fickle assurance

he made her heart
very tender

achingly so

still
there was a
hesitation
she had inside

a feeling that
she couldn't
all the way
trust him

she'd lean into him
in the night
trying to convince
herself

that he was 
the steady one

letting his heartbeat
lull her into
a sense of calmness
she knew would
change

whenever
he awakened with
the morning

whenever
she woke up
to herself

to the cat

i asked you
where i was supposed
to go

and you showed me
where i truly
was

i asked you
of my sanity

and you told me
my reality

you spoke to me
in my darkest hour

protected me when it
all went sour

guided me along with
all your power

and now at the
journey's end

you take me home
again

thank you, friend

(be)

hide

whenever
you talk forcefully

i hide inside

whenever
you don't talk
to me

i hide inside

whenever you sigh

i hide inside

whenever you breathe
normally

i hide inside

how can you win
when i jump
whenever you
do anything?

how can i know
you're genuine
when i don't even try
to listen

to what you are?

trying to fill in
what i think
you are

with thoughts
from the past
of me
and the feelings
right in front of me

and what i see
of the future

in the shadows
around myself

(hide)

inclement weather

all this freaking rain
should lead to some ponies now
i'll go get saddles

blurry is the road to your heart

it's ok
to be cold with me

i'm used to
the temperature

but the cure
for caressing isn't
ceasing to be

especially when you're 
far from me

learning your
love language is
harder

than any book
or scroll

watching the conversation
unfold from
intimacy

to full out mystery

makes love hard
to see

the beginning's all
i've got to hold
onto

in times like these

blurry is the road
to your heart

(apart)

eyes forward

walking past
the empty shirts

of what i was

pure as silk
in the darkness
breeze

towards what i'll be

the past always
judges you when
you turn your back
to it

but eyes can't see
what they want to be

when they're rooted to
the ground

(not a sound)

connection

the moon
will connect
parted loves

one last relax

we dared to
rest easy
in the wind that blew
against us

i held your hand
as the boat
glided us smoothly
along our way

to a warmer
happiness
to a lasting
foreverness

to a place where
war didn't have
a name

to share your fame
as a warrior
brave and true

i stood by you
and finally
relaxed

believing love 
could stay

believing forever
was just a day

(gone)

time

her eyes betrayed her
as the clock was running down
heart all in a blur

weary again

i grow weary
of trying define our
identity

over and over again

i don't want
to cover the same
ground

i don't want
you to mow me
down

with your voice
your frustration
and your will

i long for the
stillness that
we were

and not the
wariness we've
become

underlining
each word
with deliberate
intent

over and over again

(tired)

bunnies

i always felt
helpless

lying in a gurney

rolling to the
who-knows-where

i always felt
younger

than all my years

staring at the 
ceiling up there

radiology
was a theatre

spotlighting my
insides

for all to see and hear

part of a cure

that i wasn't sure of

but i didn't have
the heart
to fear

nor the brains
to figure out

what was left of my future.....

(bunnies)

searching

was sure
i knew
who i thought you were

was glad
i met
who i could see

was happy
i loved
who i thought i felt

now what's
the matter
with me?

(soul)

end of your reign

at first
you brought me
colour

and i burst into flame

rising and reaching
at the sound of
your name

but then
you gave me
shadow

and i hid with shame

turning and twisting
at the point of
your pain

and now
you left me
sorrow

and i live in rain

waving and weeping
at the end of
your reign

never to be 
the same

(again)

bonds

eyes that meet in sky
after seeing whale up high
have the strongest bond

in your way

got in your way
one too many times

even at the end
i was clutching at
straws

looking up into
troubled eyes
holding steady
with my own

trying to stay calm 

you turned your heart
from my questions

answering me
with a vagueness
i couldn't understand

until you broke away

step over step
you ran away
from me

as sudden as a
slap across the
face

and, in the silence
i nodded
as if to say

i knew it would
end this way

and as quickly as
my heart had started

that fateful day
i met you

it stopped
without any
resolution

it hasn't started
since

(done)

pursuit

we're always
in pursuit

of the heart that
feeds us

always thinking

that love will
complete us

always in need

of the something 
unknown

always feeling

that we've grown 

into what?

who knows....

but it's more
of an adventure than
real life

right?

(sigh)

stairs away

you went
to a place
i could not follow

and with
each step
i shook

i felt myself
growing smaller
and smaller

you left
without
a look

you always 
gave more
than you took

(go)