Saturday, May 31, 2014

what lies ahead

what do we do now?

that was the unspoken question between them.  they had escaped it all.... her parents... her future, so set in stone.  his parents... his future, so clouded in mystery.

they had run across manicured lawns, in steps two at a time ....floating in the air of freedom... breathless in what was.... chasing what was going to happen ....

and now they sat, side by side.... nervous giggles subsiding.... wide eyed, and serious for perhaps the first time in their lives.... knowing that whatever was coming couldn't be as bad as what they left behind....

writing their days in the sun.... alive and free ....

what do we do now?

any damn thing we please.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

peculiar hope

don't want to
what could be
between us

i know me
too well
to be optimistic

don't want to
what could happen

if we were always near

but there's a
peculiar hope
that i get when
i talk to you

that makes me
all the troubles inside

there's a
sudden sense
that happens
when we're to-gether

that makes me
all that's wrong with the world

there's a beautiful thought
that something could be

just between you and me

all our torments
crashing in

no more pretend
but the realities
of me and you

to-gether in the sun


Tuesday, May 27, 2014


fairy kisses
that come 
out of nowhere

gentle cuddles
that ask only
to be returned

the unexpected touch
that i've learned to crave
in such a short time

reminding me
of the softness
that i could let myself be

if only for the hope of you


Saturday, May 24, 2014


try to see
what's ahead of you
rather than
what's eating at you

try to know
what i'm thinking of you
rather than
what i'm telling you

see what i see
in you

you live in light
you just don't know it
you walk in beauty
the mirrors won't show it

you'll never know
the blue that lies ahead

unless you look up
and trust in the steps
that'll lead you back home


Friday, May 23, 2014

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Silent Scribblings

From the moment they walked into the bookstore, they spoke not a word.

She made a beeline for the movie books, grabbing a coffee table book about Irving Thalberg, and a volume of Michael Palin's diaries.  She piled on a copy of "Poems You Should Have Read, But Didn't Because You Were Educated in America", and three magazines.  (Entertainment Weekly, People Magazine, and Writer's Digest.)  She waddled under the weight of knowledge towards the table near the window, and dive bombed her tower upon it.

He arrived soon after, with three computer magazines, an architecture retrospective that took up a whole corner of the table, and an "Organize Your Life in Ten Easy Steps" guide.  He sorted his books into a neat pile, biggest to smallest, and put his phone down next to it, parallel and in the direction of the table's faux wood grain.

"London fog?"  he asked.
"Yes." she answered.

She shoved her reading material over to one side, and sat down.  In a moment, she was up again, spanking both hips forward and backward.  She then pat her chest, repeatedly, making a slight squeaking sound as she did so.  She was in the middle of taking off her boot when she heard her phone ring.... the satchel she wore across her shoulder.

"Found it!" she said to him, after she answered it.
"Good."  he said, then hung up.

She carefully put the phone down in front of her, then sat down again.

He walked back to the table slowly, in a balancing act of activity.  He put his iced cappuccino, and her hot tea down to-gether.  He then removed the plate of cookies from off the top of his cup, and put them in the middle of the table.  He quietly scooted her tea to her side of the table.

She did not look up.

He sat down, and watched her, cautious look on his face.

The pencil in her hand scratched a quick path across the page in her journal.  It went on and on, line after line, as her breath quickened.  She paused, growling slightly, grasping desperately at the air until the right word came to her.  When it did, she was face down again, scribbling and panting the idea out of her, as if exorcising a bad spirit.

He wanted desperately to look at her words, hoping to find out why she was so stirred up.  Did he drive too fast? (She still wasn't used to the way he had to navigate in a big city.)  Was the rain worrying her? (She was so used to storms being a bad omen.)  Did he say something to her to make her upset?  Did he not say something to her to make her upset?

Could he say something now?  (No. He knew better than to interrupt now.)

He looked through his magazines, scanning them instead of reading them.  Occasionally he would find a paragraph worth remembering, and took a picture of it with his cell phone camera.  He sneaked a look at her every now and then, which was easy to do.  She was at the sighing, and fist thumping stage of her writing.

Why was writing so hard?  Why couldn't the correct words come out at the same time as the burning ideas that rattled in her head?  She knew what she wanted to say, but she couldn't say it in proper English. She could only jot down incomplete phrases separated by ellipses that took over the paper like a peculiar version of pointillism.

It was a good thing she was a poet, and not a writer.  She'd drive herself mad if she had to be precise.

Finally, after the stream of ideas slowed down, she was able to put down her pencil.  She picked up her tea, which had cooled to the lukewarm soup-like consistency that she liked.  Drinking it gave her the feeling of warmth, and calmness that she needed at that moment.

"Doing good?" he asked.

He nodded.

"It won't come out right.  I can't write."
"Yes you can."

She sighed dramatically.

"Well it isn't working out now."
"I get it.....but you've been through this before.  It always comes back."
"Maybe not this time!  Maybe I'll never write again!"

He slowly pushed the cookie plate closer to her.

"I highly doubt that."

She grabbed a cookie, and dunked it in her tea.  She swished it boldly, then took half of it in her mouth in one bite.  He hid a smile.  He loved how genteel and proper she wasn't.

"Quit laughing." she said, with her mouth full of cookie mess.
"I'm not laughing.  I'm just sitting here."

She giggled in that girlish way he liked.  It was sudden, and melodic, breaking all tension with its unpredictability.  It made him want to get up quickly, and throw his arms around her.

Instead, he reached over, and took hold of her hand.

"Read a little.  Let it sit for awhile.  It'll come back to you."

He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Because it's part of you.  You can't speak without it.  It's what you were born to do."

She looked at him in amazement.  He looked back, calm and sure.

He really knew her.  She didn't know how, but he really knew her.  It thrilled her, and scared her at the same time.

But mostly there was love.

She squeezed his hand, then pounced on the People Magazine.  Soon she was lost in Kardashian fashions, and heartwarming stories about canine amputees.

They spent the rest of the stormy afternoon in the bookstore..... reading.... writing.... texting to each other.... and dwelling in the reassuring camaraderie of two people in love learning about each other .....

.....each without saying a word.

know this much is true

the ones who feel
so greatly
are the ones who hurt
so deeply

the ones who reach out
with their heart
are the ones who always
fall apart


Thursday, May 15, 2014


you've seen me
at my saddest

and you stayed nearby

waiting out the tears
talking through the fears

making me whole again

you've seen me
at my maddest

and you did not leave

listening to the screams
reminding me of the dreams

helping me through the pain

you never turned your back on
the chaos i bring

you never let go of
the weakness of me

bringing me back
again and again

from the brink of
the darkness of what i was

into the shine of
what our light can be

when i let go of the past

and learn to be free


Monday, May 12, 2014


you once told me
you'd give me the world

take me to places
i've never seen

just to see
how i'd be

when i was truly happy

don't you know
i don't need 
to travel anywhere?

can't you see 
that every place 
is new to me

when i can see the world
through your eyes?

lead me down
the paths 
where you have lived before

tell me of 
the tales
that have taught you how to be

show me
the way
to be calm like you

and i will be true
and learn the lessons
that you share

i will be there
close by
no matter where we go

trying to know 
as well as you know me

let's go


Thursday, May 8, 2014


you took me
from the saddest part
of where i was

and led me
to the very heart of you

you gave me
the warmth and compassion
of your love

and sent me
to find where i needed to be

now i search
for just the right path

to lead me to
to help me reach

to give me the hope
that comes
with being new

to make things
come true

so i can walk back
to you

may the journey
be smooth
and the future kind

one peace of mind
two hearts


Monday, May 5, 2014


that your words don't count

that you can't fight

that nothing you say
will ever matter

not to-day
not to-morrow
not ever

all the dreams
that you could ever see

it all ends with me

and you aren't real


move on

can't think of
the miracle that came
the day i met you

or i'll lose the spell

can't think of
the horror that will come
the day i lose you

or i'll never try

cant let myself feel
the happiness that comes
when you kiss me

or i'll lose you
before i've found you

the sanctuary between us
will all go away

if i don't look
from the mistakes
of yesterday

and move on towards the sun


Friday, May 2, 2014

bite size discoveries

sharing food
nourishing bodies
soothing souls

back and forth
competing with
the music in
the background

long forgotten tunes
intertwine with
the discoveries
from simple questions
and smiling faces

to know about the other
but not wanting
to know
so fast

making the moment last
with every spoonful

tracing our way
back to ourselves

one bite at a time