flashlights

they lock up

the flashlights

because they don't want

you to be bright

whatever comes to light

will be in a backhand email

a stalled highway

and what can't be said

will be felt in the silences

of the hall

nothing more

nothing less

(mess)

two doctors

one

everything's done

by the nurse, you see

whatever you look at

is scanned by her

and He comes in, and read

the summations

give no expectations

and ask to see you 

in half year

no fear in his voice

all ordinary

but the objects that

dance in your eyes

are a concern

will they return?

come back and find out!

(the worst t.v. series

to ever be a part of)

two

Stand up.

Not that way

Push back

Not that way.

Tell me what 

you do in life.

Nothing? 

I find that hard to believe.

 

Where do you work?

Oh, now I see.

What started this off?

Two pails of sand?

Why did you carry them?

I don't understand

You are old, and you think

that you are young.

I see.

(not asking, just telling

it's nothing to me

i've become used to

not being understood

humour is my game

deflection is all good)

Do these exercises.

Here is an app.

Let's meet every week

and see where you're at.

(when did this turn into

a fable by dr seuss?

this doctor is female

and not ever on the loose)

Wait, why are you still hurting?

There's a pail at the house

that you have to carry water in

from kitchen to bathroom?

(the tale of two pails)

I..i..is it a full pail of water?

H..h..how often do you have 

to do this?

(no questions on why, 

no questions on what,

which was merciful.)

Well, try to make more trips

with less water in pail.

Or get someone else to

carry them for you.

Now, here's how to

rest your head as you lay

in the night using rolled

up towel and soft pillow.

This will help you sleep.

This will help with the

persistent headaches.

This will he....oh, the insomnia

and the headaches were before

the pails? 

I see.

Well, do the exercises

and look at the app.

We'll work with what we have

and make your neck better.

I must ask, however,

I know you're masked, 

but is that your worried face

or are you deep in thought?

(or am i crying?

or is it residual "scanxiety"

from battles from long ago?)

Oh, just listening. I see.

See you soon.

 

what else is there to say?

what else is there to say?

what more is there

to be

just the thought of

useless syllables

of round and round

compromises

wearies me to the bone

can being alone be better

than whatever is to come?

what more can be done?

(blank)

technology

works for you

or against you

it clarifies the need

for lessons

it prompts you 

to grow 

in some way

it separates 

your soul 

from your spirit

it traps you

until you are just

a voice

that suitably gets

tucked away 

night after night

far away from sense

and reality

technology

can free you

but only as far

as you try

otherwise,

you can kiss 

your sanity goodbye

(lie)

a mission

No, ma'am

I can't come in

at eight a.m. 

in the morning.

You see

I have a mission 

every morning.

I wake up before dawn

put soft music on

crack egg after egg

side them with toasted bread

and I bring my wife

breakfast in bed 

every morning.

I remember, 

when she was able,

she lived to serve,

setting each table,

sending me off 

with warmth and cinnamon

rivaling the sun

So you see, ma'am.

I'm not available to come

from 7 a.m. til at least

noonday sun.

My mission makes it

impossible.

(dawn)

vowed

you'll see for me

and i'll listen to you

as we vowed 

as we vowed

you'll read the news

on slanted paper

i'll listen close

as you clarify

as we vowed

as we vowed

i can't listen

with my mask on

you can't see

beyond your reality

both of us believing

with the mind of a child

as we vowed

as we vowed

even though

they don't care now

(trace)

when

when they don't know

why they said what they said

when they don't tell

how they really feel

when they don't ask

if you made it there

when they don't care

to show their face

when they think that

all life is a blog

when the songs in their heart

stills forevermore

when nothing has a point

not even the poetic

when all is hectic

and connections are strained

when all was covered

just waiting to change

when all was discovered

and nothing was changed

blur

you can't make sense

of what you never

understood

you thought you could

finesse

acquiesce

kowtow

appease

make a square peg

fit into a round hole

instead you're hollow

to the core

what is real anymore?

not you, for sure

(blur)

a promise to myself

i will ask no more

forever

i will lean no more

forever

i will live no more 

forever

every edit will be

mine

every decision will be

mine

every thought will be 

mine

even the unspoken

i won't explain myself

anymore

because what was all

the explaining for

when nothing 

was heard or understood

(good) 

again to the darkness

at first

it was you and me

flowing freely 

down the fareway

you leading

at a graceful distance

and i

so happy to be 

by your side

then suddenly

the guiding way

turned to starkness

so close to the darkness

letting me go

in the middle

of my doom

on and on i'll sail

without connection

the inflection was

always felt

but was ignored

and now my storm

begins

on my own again

but not for long

one breath more

and i'm done

(gone)

warnings

they will warn you

with overreaching words

unspoken silences

and storms that happen 

allofasudden

you can choose to heed

these warnings

with the strength of poetry

your mellow voice

and the sun that's always 

right in your pocket

ready to shine 

for someone else

but never you

(true)

 

ago

and she showed him a picture

from way back when

of a couple in a canoe

floating on innocent promises

and he mulled over 

the image

for only a moment

then typed back

"We were younger then" 

and even though this man

of business and style

was surrounded by stress

and a million miles

his quick witted wonder

of a sentence of four words

broke through the turnpike

and up several hills

and blushed a cheek 

of a heart unawares

no stares could see 

what effect he gave

(thank goodness for covid

secret love is saved)

bliss