no pause

totally behind
on everything

trying to be all
to everyone

waiting for the pause
that's not going to come

perhaps never again

people calling 
from left and right

people expecting
with all their might

waiting for the breath
that never exhales

slowly being buried
in all this email

nothing more to see

just the misery of me

(close)

 

linger

when i was trying
to be mindful with your time

and saying goodbye
yet again

i felt your voice linger

when we hang out 
at the doorway we
lean on the frame
and stare eye to eye

being exclusive

but when we talk
on the airways we
lean on the phone
and listen ear to ear

getting as close as
we can be

through the technology

i never know
when you want to stay
or go

all i know
is that it's forever too soon

will the moon break
when we merge to-gether
again

who knows?

linger closer, maybe we'll see

(be)

hid

within the heart
of what everyone saw

was the child 
she could have been

if only they let her be
who she wanted to be

(hid)

why do at all

so many of my disappointments

are wrapped around the souls of

others

right now

the pressure of the expectations

of one

grind me to the ground

and the dissatisfaction of another

darkens the sky even further

and the distance of one

so caring

with fair eyes and entrancing

stares

is almost not at all there

because of what i can't see

because what i'll never be

i will disappoint 

no matter what 

i do

so why do at all?

(fall)

silence

you give me silent vibes
and i don't know what
to say

you stare at me
with your piercing eyes
compelling me
to ask you
what you want

but you don't speak
with your words

you sigh
you cower
you shadow
you stomp

you fling your hair
away from me

but you don't say
a word

i know
i know
i know

but i don't know

(mute)

how to be

you teach me
with each 
misunderstanding

how to breathe
how to listen
how to be

you tell me
with each
hellish word

how to let go
how to conform
how to be

you reach me
with each
conversation

how to wait
how to remember
how to be

tamped down
held down
calmed down

all in the same day
but never in 
the same way

leaving me
to reconstruct myself
forever learning

how to be

(fade)

(be)

the thing to know
is that we don't know 
when our last day is

sometimes we're not meant
to prepare for the unknown

with a script in hand
and a great last sentence

sometimes instead of
growing dark 
slowly

we become engulfed
all of a sudden

we're turned on our back
colors turn to grey

we can't think of 
what to say
at that point

we can't think of 
what to do

all we can do 

is try

try to breathe in the life
that's trying so hard
to escape from us

willing ourselves awake
for one more second
of breath

for her
for him

for ourselves

for whatever it was
that kept our heart beating

for all those countless years
when all we had the luxury 
to do

was dream

(stay)