i've decided
to stop trying
no more compliments
to smooth out the wrinkles
of a bed that's not slept in
no more placating
to calm the nerves
of a cat that can't be tamed
no more caring
for others
deeply and ardently
past the time
i'm being paid to
no more listening
to conversations
where i know i can help
if only i can find the right way
to say what the solution is
before it's too late
no more sharing
and giving
hoping
and living
fullstop being
what others need me to be
free
to think and do what i please
it's ok
no one will notice
the change
from within
but me
just one step closer
to the darkness
i still seek
(be)
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