walk away

can't turn the page
without you being
on the other side

can't turn my head
without your shadow
passing me by

can't think i'm free
without your step
being misheard

can't think i'm me
without your hand
crossing out each word

you make me regret
every chance i ever took

take one last look
i beg of you

then walk away

(now)

the rest of alone

you used to whisper
in my ear
constantly

about all you saw
or heard

you used to listen
to me
patiently

whenever i spoke
a word

i didn't think i'd miss
the sound of life

in all its giggles
and wheezes

i didn't think i'd sit
and cry

at the memory
of your sneezes

how can someone
so vital and pure

be gone like the end
of a whisper

why can't the fates
bring you back again

to keep me warm
on the nights i shiver

searching for the best
of home

waiting for the rest
of alone

i'm out of my depth

in the chill
of open places
surrounded by
unknown faces

i stand alone

emo goth in
shades of red
i can feel so
better off dead
my life on loan

must it all be
wrath and kaos?
must i be so
full of pathos
in thought and deed?

it's better to be
in constant feeling
than live life
without meaning

this is my only creed

just a little while

it will only be
for just a little while

don't worry

there's another boat
for the daddies

this one is for you
and mommy

please let go

i know, dear

i've held you
so close
for almost all
of your seven years

you barely 
touched the floor

i was always
picking you up
to dance
and hug
and look at things
to-gether

you were always
so small

all right,
big girl
let me pick you up
one last time
before you go into the boat

be a good girl

do you see the stars?
yes, in the sky

so many of them
are falling
to-night

see them?
one .... two.... three....

keep counting
keep watching

keep looking up

(dear, take her
hold her close
keep her warm
i know you will, darling)

four ....
five ....

goodbye, sweet girl
for just a little whole

i love you

six ....
seven .....

keep looking up,
baby girl

goodbye

intelligence

i always check
"intelligence"

when a quiz asks for
what i want in
a man

and that's my 
downfall

because all the smart men
i know

either lord their brain cells
over me

trying to teach me

or silently criticize
what i'm saying

almost before i say it

once i make a mistake
i want to learn my lesson

then never think about it
again

not have this walking
tape recorder

spool out every error
i've done

just to remind me
that i'm dumb

just to prove the point
that they always have

just to bring down
the best part of me

(the part they saw
as fascinating
not so long ago)

(end)

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2018-april-pad-challenge-day-5

lament

you wouldn't expect me

to marry 

a normal girl

an average woman

of the world

you'd know i had to

touch the stratosphere

to know i'm nearer

to love

and even though she's 

gone and grey

and the hazy days

have come

i know no one can 

take away that girl

that extraordinary girl

i knew

and loved

(no)

case study

i feel your eyes
travel up and down
me

all around me

trying to figure out
the next word

i see your hands
orbit the way
from me

in between us

looking for a
place to land

i know your thoughts
don't meet the sight
of me

floating over me

hoping for a pause
to understand

i'm a dossier
of deliverance
in your hands

a case study
of chaos
in your heart

almost on the brink
of good

(know)

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2018-april-pad-challenge-day-4