the path

the path to
independence is saying 
no

after no
after no

until there's nothing left
but your own way

the path to 
your own sanity is trying
to find what sun
you can

in all the darkness
that surrounds

and try your best
to begin to shine
in what's left of the sun
inside yourself

or so they say

(light)

anything at all

there was a time
when i didn't know 
what i was coming home to

i'd peek around the corner
listening for any 
disagreeable word

any crash of dishes

anything at all

then i'd look in my room
to see if anything was
out of place

or anything new 
was added

or if there was 
anything at all

there was a time
when i came home
and the floors were bare

and my mother's mind
was full of every dark secret
that my diary once contained

raging again and again
she tried to reset my thinking

with anything she had in hand

anything at all

until there was nothing 
in the air but unsettled dust

misplaced trust

and the beating of my heart
in my ears

(fears)

the egg and i (haikus)

i was once an egg
nothing was inside of me

fresh from factory

--------------------

egg leaning on wall

omelet wants to come in

looking for some chives

-----------------------------

begin where i was

behold what i try to be

beside misery

faraway lament

you don't remember me    
anymore

your coworkers with
the laughing eyes
come to call

dazzling your ears
with a thousand syllables
of hello

and they're there

and i'm over here

perpetual cloud over
my shoulder

sun in my eyes

looking off in the 
faraway distance

signaling a sign of 
desperation

but you don't hear me
through the waves of
office sirens

who bend at your will
for the fair chance

to touch your air
of resistance

(dance)

the decision

i respect you
but some decisions
must be done

decidedly

and some procedures
must be completed

expedientially 

and even though 
i respect

who i thought you were

and even though 
i promised

what i thought i could give

sometimes the road
travels differently

away from the destination
of two

away from what was me
and you

(done)

halves (stream of consciousness)

a half of you
sings 
to a half of me

a life
that was new
is whole again

and if 
i lost 
the feeling of your song

i wouldn't last long
i wouldn't last long
i wouldn't last long

but what's left
would be a beautiful echo

of you

(true)

can't win

when life is too far
then feelings get close

when it's all not fair
then there's nothing to know

you can stare me down
in an instant
change the temperature
in a moment
live forever and take
my breath
make a smile and
step on my neck

keep it going
as if no one else can see
what misery you've given me

over and over and over and over again

can't win

(sin)