i read

i read to eat.
i read to hear the voices of the past.
i read to learn.
i read to reassure myself of my place in the world.

i read to live.
i read to see.
i read to love deeper, breathe easier, and communicate what's inside of me better.

i read to be.
i read to let go.

i read.

(know)

a round

it's good
that i don't remember
what's bad from the past

it's bad
that i don't remember
what's good

of all the things
i wish life would bring

nothing will be as good as you
dear one

nothing will be as good as you

(know)

prayer of the silenced

the world
in eggshell perfection

waiting for a quake

my heart
in tender devotion

 hoping not to break

be alive again
be alive again

be

(soon)

stay

softly
the rain fell nearby

silencing
the city noises around us

and as we sat
in the darkness
looking into the sky

you leaned
your head
on my shoulder

i breathed in
the scent of your hair

warmed
by the nearness of your body

and i sat
as still as i could

hoping you wouldn't
turn away

hoping you would
stay the night
again

it was all i could do
to tell you

to stay

and the rain
splattered into sprinkles
for the rest of the night
waiting for an answer

(when)

undone

oh what a sad day
when my words
come back
to me

in syllables that
cut
without reason

what have i
taught?

what have i
wrought?

what must be
bought
to get rid of this
pain?

the pain i caused
by talking
out of turn

burning
without showing

dying
without knowing

how to begin again

(heed)

weight of your words

the deep tenderness
in your voice
makes up for all the hard things
that happened to-day

and even though
you're far away
the things you tell me
bring me closer to you

helping my thoughts
wander
to you

all this traveling
with the mind
will seem novel
when we think back
to these days

and the ways we coped
with these long, lonely nights

talk to me again,
slow this time

remind me that
times will change

re-tell the meaning
of your heart

as i start
to drift away

caught in the weight
of your words again


(stay)

audio version here:  https://soundcloud.com/jamison99/weight-of-your-words

identity

all i ever wanted to do
was be nice to you

but i find myself
needlessly explaining myself

and changing myself
to catch up to you

each time
i reach for my pen
i flinch

each time
i think about my sadness
i hide

each time
i try to be
the me i thought you liked
i fear

and search for a me
more acceptable
in your eyes

you are so wise
to what i'm not

how can i learn
to be who i am

and still make you smile?

(fade)