gathering goodbyes

i'm going to store up
all the goodbyes
that we say to each other

and hold their lessons within

the happy goodbyes
with giggles
and promises of another day

the sad goodbyes
with tears
and pleas for one more chance

the sudden goodbyes
that squeeze
all the joy from my heart

the long goodbyes
that comfort
all the fears from my mind

i'm going to gather up
all the goodbyes
that we said to each other

and draw their strength within

.....and wait for love again.....

(grow)

conceal

you can't
understand
what i feel inside

no matter how much
i explain

you won't
listen
to what matters to me

no matter how much
i cry

so i'm hiding my heart
for another day

i'm keeping my feelings
inside

until the day
i can find someone
to listen to me

until i can find
someone who'll try

i only hope
i can find the way
back to my heart

when the right one goes walking by

(hide)

blank sheet

sometimes
the hardest challenge
in my life

is a blank sheet
of paper

with nothing to guide

but the will
to let go what's within
is stronger than
anything outside

and again i write

making sense
out of the nonsense
that fills my days

making hope
out of the troubles
that bleed through

restoring and
renewing what's
within

pushing  darkness
out

until the sun comes again
(true)

the wait

what makes us
wait
for what we want?

what makes us
tarry
for the one we love?

what makes us
think
day after day

that lives will change
if we hold still

and keep life on pause

not fully extending
until the ending

of an unseen dawn

how do we carry on
when we
can't even count
on the sun?

(begun)

lessons from fall

subtly
the love of fall
sneaks up on you

colourful
in its passion
crunchy
in its playfulness

quiet
in its wisdom

 teaching
until its last moment
of aliveness

(endure)

skate

missing you
shouldn't be my profession

but it is

missing you
shouldn't be my confession

but it is
night after night

hiding my feelings
so they won't hurt you
hiding my heart
so you won't suffer

trying hard
to keep out the real

so that we can keep it light

why do i have to be
so emo inside
why can't i skate
over the surface

barely touching the ice

graceful
in the jumps
and tough
in the landings

alive in the horizon

....until it's all normal again

(hide)

try

it the tangibles
that i remember

your hair in your face
when you're trying
to tell me something serious

the glare you give
when you're trying
not to laugh at my jokes

oh to touch you again

it's the intangibles
that linger

the acceptance i feel
when you're trying
to understand my problems

the hope i get
when you're trying
to be better for me

stop trying, you're there

i live only to try
to give back to you

all that you given to me

(try)