l'amour de la jeune fille

you have to remember
there's a girl in me
that hasn't grown up

and i don't want her to

i won't show her
to your friends
i won't let her out
even to my closest pals

so she won't embarrass you

just know her
love her
be near her
when it's cold

(especially when it's bitter cold)

and if you give her
a chance to live
in your heart

the blessings of
warmth and
playful joy
will follow behind you

supporting you every step of the way

with giggles, and hugs, and chocolate
all the days
of your life

(trust)

in the rain

whisper softly
in my ear
one last time

let the weather fall
where it may
as you speak to me

there will be many days
there will be many nights
that i sit
and remember the time

when thunder roared
and the wind blew
and the torrents poured
over us

and i didn't feel
anything at all

but you

(safe)

the words of my book

the words
of my book
soar high
into the sky

they dare to touch
the sun at its brightest

they hope to see
the moon in its darkness

they collapse
into clouds
and ride into
the rain

before coming back
to me
all care-worn
from the journey

waiting to
whisper
the secrets
of the world

into my longing ears

conditions

my plate
is full right now

my cup
runneth over
with troubled waters

i wish
you'd just
step away

(for just a little while)

until my head's straight
until my mind's clear

until . . .
something right
happens in my life

but
if i put you on pause

and have you wait
until the world's
just right

i'd never see you again

stay near
stay close

stay in love

be loved
but don't expect
a whirlwind
of epic proportions

there's just
going to be

spastic you
(and your giggle)

and weary me
(if you'll take me)

take me
as far as you can go
and i'll take you

as far as you can dream

(soon)

overdubbed

sometimes

my words

don’t match up

to what i think

like a badly dubbed

foreign movie

seen late at night

i struggle

and waver

hem

and haw

shifting from one foot

to another

awkwardly

and yet

when i write

the phrases come out
complete, and pure

in a wave of beauty

universally understood

if only the world

could slow down

for my words

give me a chance

to roll my brain

around my heart

then i could finally say

all the things i feel

that stir me inside

before you walk away

before the end of the day . . .

soundcloud version here: http://soundcloud.com/jamison99/overdubbed

no one

 

no one 
can be certain
what's inside a man's heart

and no one
can tell you
what he means
when he holds you close in the night

no close friend
analyzing his emails
over coffee and bagels

no psychic
with her hands to her temple
and her fingers in your wallet

no psychiatrist
who lies you on his couch
and lies to you by the hour

no dr phil
no oprah

no one

all you can do
is look into his eyes
breathe in his soul

and trust yourself

accept him
for him
and open your heart

and
with whispers in the night
and gestures in the day

he'll reveal 
everything

walls between you
will fall
and build strong
around you both

unsure eyes
will learn to
focus

on treasured realities

and

no one

will be able to take away

the joy
you have won

 

(tuesday, january 25, 2011 at 1:13am) 28/9/12

 

http://soundcloud.com/jamison99/no-one

small glimmerings (a matt and stella story)

To-day wasn't going to be good.  He could feel it, all the way down to his bones.

Matt wiped the back of his hand across his forehead, then examined the dirt that came off him.  Disgusting.  He looked around him.  The hedges were unruly . . .the grass, gnarly and jungle-like.  The dandelions . .everywhere.

This was going to take forever.

Sighing, Matt squared his shoulders, and picked up the weed eater once more.

Well, he would have, except . . .

The fun thing about living with Stella is that you can hear her coming before you can see her.  Either she's wearing the big boots that stomp even on the softest grass . . or she's strapped to a backpack with seven or eight jingling keys . . or . .or . .

Dear God, no.  Not the iPod.

Matt smiled inwardly, knowing that Stella was trying . . really trying to sneak up on him.  Respectfully.  He stood still, and waited for her to prance over to him . . .

And she did.  Singing, of course.

"You're an essay in grammar . . please pardon the . . grammar . .but you're every schoolgirl's dream.  You're the Celtics, United, but baby I've decided you're the best thing I've ever seen . . "

"and she was," Matt murmured to himself.

Stella stood in front of him, heavily ladened. Iced water, in a big orange glass in one hand.  A very flat sandwich, on a green plastic plate in the other.  A sandwich bag under her arm . . .

.....and a smile spread across her face.

Matt moved his sunglasses over his head, like a knight flipping open his steel visor.  Stella tried to do the same, but couldn't quite move the glass . . to her other hand, or the plate . .to the first hand . . or ..

. .it was really quite complicated, the shuffling.

Understanding almost immediately, Matt moved forward, and gently uncovered his lady's eyes.

"Hi," he whispered.

'Hi!"  she yelled back, "I brought you some . . ."

Matt gently removed one of the earbuds from her ear.

" . . .foodstuffs . . "

"I'm right here."

"I know."

"There's no need to shout."

"I kn-ow."

"I mean, it's not like I'm deaf."

"I k-n-o-ow!"

She giggled in frustration.

Matt took the plate, and examined the sandwich.

"Flatbread?"

"No.  Wheat."

"Why is it so . . .flat?"

"So you can eat it faster."

Matt opened his mouth to say "Oh" but stopped, mid-sound.  He looked at her, eyebrow arched.  She raised the glass, eye-level.

"Um . . .want your drink?"

"Not . . .yet."

"Could you hold it, for a minute, then?"

He took the beverage from Stella.  She immediately ripped open the sandwich bag, and took out a moist red bandanna.

Matt acted like he was mesmerized with his sandwich.  Hypnotized.  So embroiled in the wonder of the food, that he didn't notice Stella raising on tip-toes, holding the bandanna in her hands . . .moving in back of him, then in front . . trying to....

.trying to . . .

"Hey, could you . . . "

"Just a moment. " he said, with his mouth full.  "I'm trying to finish this."

"OK, you can . .but could you . . ."

"After all, there's some sort of time limit involved with my meals all of a sudden."

"No , I just . . ."

"I have to eat reaaaaaalllly fast before the warden comes back."

"No!  that's not . . . that's not . . " She always found it hard to finish sentences when she was giggling so hard." That's . . . .smaller sandwiches help you digest better."

"Oh, now it's a question of my health.  Well, thank you for watching out for me there.  It's a wonder I can do any yard work at all, with me at death's door, and not being able to even digest food . . . "

"No . .I . . no . . Maaaaatttt . . .Stoppit!"

"Suddenly, I feel faint.  I mean . . .I don't know if I stumble back to the house.  Are you going to escort me back?  It seems so far . . . ."

He finally looked at her.  Her face had that one patient smile on it.  Her cheeks were flushed from laughter.  Her hair was all over the place

It was the best thing he saw all day.

"All right  . . ." He asked, giving her smile back to her. "What do you need?"

"Could you . . bend your head down a bit?"

Matt leaned down.  Stella put the bandanna around his shoulders, knighting him with coolness, and the caring love that she was showing him.

"Thank you."

Matt handed the plate back to Stella, and drained the glass soon after.  She smiled, gathered up the different accessories, and bounced away.

Matt followed her with his eyes, keeping her in sight as long as possible.  At one point, she turned the corner, and the sun reflected off the glass.  It looked, just for a moment, like a star in the distance.

He watched her small, glimmering figure until he could see her no more.  Then he went on with the rest of his work . . .refreshed, restored . . . .


. . .and renewed for the rest of the day.