pause

it's the rain

and the worry

that makes me this tense

and yet

i can't show it

because i'm supposed to be Leader

so i breathe

a lot

walk around

and check on people

and 

for one brief moment

i'm calm

designing colorful promos

that someone may not want

or care about

but it's an exercise of the mind

for me

a chance to pause 

the anxiety

(brum)

and control at least

a small part

of my existence

(even if it's futile)

let me sneak 

these few words out

into the internet

and forget

who i have to be

in a search 

of what 

i want to be

(flee)