by design
a researcher
by trade
and a death seeker
by heart
i know when
they died,
how they died,
who they died with,
and can pull up pictures
showing why they died
but why do i pursue
death?
it's no real comfort
to know these details
to walk the path
to the darkest black
where no one comes back
except as casper
why does my heart
beat faster as i answer
each factual question
put before me?
and why does every
sunrise lead me to thoughts of
my own demise
over and over again
all i can do is comfort
when i can
and help
with all that i am
this is the plan
that will distract me
from the darkness
even if it's just
for a little while
(blink)
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