holidays

when it all
comes down
to it

the holidays
are just
one big drama show

where you act
your way through
several situations

hoping
for a way out

and no one wants
to hear anything
but "i'm fine"

or "i'm getting better"

or "yes, i'll have more
cheesecake"

why must i smile
and hide the hurt

when i want to
put rocks inside
of my skirt?

why must i laugh
and hide the pain

when within me
there's continuous rain?

why must i act
and live the lie

when i wish
for the truth
to live close by?

far away
from body
but never
from heart

until it starts again

(smile)