in search of you
a hand to hold
when i feel blue
a feeling of walking
into the stars
the night was ours
for awhile
the galaxies swirl
through the paths
of memory
shining their stars
in the blanks of
inequity
leading the way
to the past
in my heart
where did it start
to go wrong
with us?
can i bring you
back to me?
maybe
with a wave of
my hand
(understand)
Nicely done - the unforced alliteration of "the galaxies swirl//shining their stars" with the rhyming of last stanza lines with first lines is appealing. Stars with ours especially; seems to capture the mood while exploring the picture.
ReplyDeletethank you. i don't like 'inequity' but i'll sit on it now.... hopefully my vocabulary will grow soon :)
DeleteThe word is an interesting choice - I momentarily pondered the selection without result. Reading again, I better see the aptness. Cosmosetically, that is. Or do I mean cosmetically?
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and invent words, if you like - often, I also find new pronunciations. Sometimes without trying. :/
ha! they say you're not supposed to make fun of people who mispronounce words, because they probably learned from reading. when i can't say something right, i use my mother's hispanic accent.. it makes things sound so much better :)
DeleteTechnology is an improvement, in that sense, with the ability to have words spoken by a computer. (and definitions on hand) Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, I remember a boy in a history class verbally answering a question concerning French philosophy with the right answer "Descartes", pronounced as spelt, only to be corrected that his name is "day-CARt" A Spanish accent would have been useful then :)
ReplyDeletemusta been a nascar fan. but computers get it wrong to, as we can tell when we hear local streets butchered on the gps. "turn left on what? omg, don't you know that's an indian name?"
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