i can't stop my brain (migrated poem)

i can't go through this night
i'm in so much pain
the thoughts that run through me
should exhaust me
but i can't sleep ... i can't...

she's dead, and i miss her
i saw her leave the earth
she looked right at me,
but couldn't speak
i didn't know ... i didn't know
it would hurt her so much

she trusted me
she let me feed her
she'd call me at all hours
i was her constant
i was the only one

they told me it was for the best
let her go ... let her go ,,,
gently, with love
and she'll disappear in the night

she fought death
she felt it
she knew
she knew
she was scared!
they lied
they lied!

she was very aware
and she looked at me ...

and i sit here
night after night
hearing her silent cries
seeing her pleading eyes

crying all the time

i can't sleep
i can't end this night
i can't ... i can't ...

i never want to be at peace again

(from 2-13-09)