the payoff

there was a time
before we parted

when you started
to leave

you looked at me

clear eyed to cloudy

and felt there
was a need

you reached into
ready pockets

and gave me
what was there

and i stared
at the money

for quite some time

wondering what
was where

i was starving
for love

that much was certain

it was hard to say
adieu

i was starving
for affection

the attentions
you paid me

weren't enough
to see me through

so when you gave
to me what you earned

from the hell that was
your job

i paused
and looked things over
inside

and found myself
starting to nod

from lover
to leecher

equal to dependent

it should have been
a sad leap

but the whispered
caring

in an ordinary gesture

seemed to make 
life complete

i held that bill
for longer than
i should have

looking as you left

i held the bill
close to my heartstrings

remembering
what you said

was i bribed
to let you go?

probably absolutely

should i lie
and be emo

i'd rather be the beauty

who let the beast go
gracefully

in keeping with her rep

a lover, a daughter an
intimate follower

with a jingle in her step

(yep)

poem inspired by this prompt:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-13