begin

i can't reason
with brilliance

i was never 
that smart

i can't talk
to the emotional

i was never 
that perceptive

i can't seem
to make you
understand

that what you
think i am

isn't real

the walls
we have between us
are filled with the trust
of completion

but the essence
of desperation

either stay with me
and love

or walk away
and live

the choice is yours
to have

and for me
to deal with

for the rest of my life

no matter what comes
i lose

(begin)

poem inspired by this prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-30

letters

i tried
writing you a letter
recently

but my heart
was leaping
out of my skin

and i couldn't
calm down
enough

to put pen
steadily
to paper

i don't understand
what you do
to me

i can't think
clearly
as i walk through
my day

because
the thought
of you and me

walks steadily
across my
brain

driving me insane
with hope
and possibility

oh be that one thing
good in my life

remind me
what living is for

remind me
that there's
something more

than darkness

poem inspired by this prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-29

it was a dark and rainy night

it was a dark
and rainy night
outside of the restaurant

a reflection
of the inside
blurred
with the outside
on the glass next to her

she saw
a ghost of herself
trying to hard
to be human

at a table
full of strangers

she wondered why
things had to be
the way
they had to be

love
in pause
apathy
in full play

eyes darting away
from what was
being said

and what wasn't

how long
can you live
a life of avoidance
just for the chance
of happiness?

she watched the lights
far away from her
as they twinkled
in the distance

quietly beckoning her home

poem inspired by this prompt:   http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-28

no regrets

just had
a gravy sandwich
with rolls
and butter

no regrets

just burped
and the taste
of cherry cheesecake
was on my breath

no regrets

no regrets

poem inspired by this prompt:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-27

hasty farewells

shut the door
abruptly
on my heart

beat a hasty
goodbye
to my memory

don't wait
until my image
blurs 
in front of your eyes

before you
deter yourself
from thinking
of me

as any more
than a tragedy

to run quickly
away from

in the dead 
of all my night

(go)

luxury

i need
to stop thinking
about you

as a luxury

a richness
i can't afford

i need
to believe
that i deserve you

that your goodness
is right for me

i need to give
as much as i take

feel
as much as you
feel

and stop hiding
the truth

just to suit the mood

you are
the one for me

you believe
in what can be

i need to see
what you see

and be free
in the knowledge
that what we have
is really there

(priceless)

poem inspired by:   http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-26

echoes

it seems
like all i write
are echoes
of what you say
to me

and the words
that i want
to remember

fall between 
the syllables 
on the page

protecting the heart
from the pain
protecting the brain
from sorrow

helping me walk
through to-morrow

with a whisper
of the past
to see me through

(true)

poem inspired by this prompt:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-25


art by: Jasenko Đorđević
http://toldart.com/portfolio

arguments on love

do you really think
people in love
are happy?

not really

oh sure
they're relieved
to find a partner
to keep time with

but it's still
a bad world
out there

filled with
bad co-workers
bad weather
bad breath

and pollution

and you still have
the same
unrealized dreams
unrealized expectations
unrealized dental appointments

and taxes

so yes
you find a sanctuary
with someone
and sure
you have a shelter
from the madness

and the sun
seems to rise and set
so. much. better.
when he's around

but happiness?

ha!

it's an illusion
only strengthened
by hallmark cards
and harlequin novels

and the gentle pressure
of his hand
on your hip
as he whispers in your ear

about times so dear
to thought and mind

it's a one of a kind
feeling
of trust and serenity

but could it be
happiness?

well.... 

maybe

poem inspired by this prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-24

in the days of hello

hand in hand
so important now

in the days of cold

shoulder to shoulder
i get bolder

than i ever thought
i could be

mouth to mouth
so clumsy now

in the days of none

chest to chest
i feel the sun

as it goes through
all of me

eye to eye
so real now

in the days of goodbye
in the days of hello

heart to heart
i feel you smile

no matter the storms
no matter the miles

no matter
what's in front of me

you and me
is all i see

(be)

apology too late

i hope
you are warm
to-night

laying
in the light
of the full
moon

thoughts bursting
like fireworks
about the art
you'll make
in the future

i wish
for no worries
in your soul

may you walk
with two feet
across all kinds
of adversity

strong and free

i want
so much to
apologize

for who i was
for what i said
for all the times
you bowed your head

in silence

waiting for me
to decide

it was quite a ride
wasn't it?

words too old
in my heart
break free

on nights like these

let agony tease me
no more

and the thought
of you
be the pleasure
that i met

and not
a valley
of long felt
regret

you were heaven sent
to me

why did i give you
only hell?

(dwell)

poem inspired by:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-23

waiting for .....

waiting for something
i have seen before

hoping for the familiar

shaking over something
i've always known

scared for the ever after

what makes one
tremble
for the to-morrow
they long for

what makes one
nervous
for the nights
they live for

what makes the waiting
so hard?

what's written
in the stars
are sketches
of what we are

and what we're meant
to be

if only the future
was easier to see

(know)

poem inspired by:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-22

the recalling

he felt silly
every time she
asked him to recall

he was sure 
she remembered 
more than she let on

but he relented
at the begging
and started again

for the first time

one day
when fall's wind
was just beginning
to blow

you came to me

clothed in a
too big overcoat
and too short pants

i found you
huddling in the corner
of the airport
eyes bouncing this way
and that

ricocheting in restlessness

you saw me
and immediately
took a step back

no i didn't

yes you did

no i didn't 

indeed you did

but
once i focused
into the person
you knew i was

you motioned me
closer
to your borders

i was a stranger
in your land
once removed

ready
to show myself
with the free will
that the intimate
requires

ready
to show you
the world
that keeps me
from you

ready to be me
and see if we
fit to-gether
as us

did we?

we did
and do
and do again

do do?

he felt silly
tickling the life
out of her
at that moment

but her giggles
gave him life
in their breathless joy

and warmth
surged in 
the empty house
again

(begin)

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-21

plundered

across
the relentless
lagoon

where waves
and storms
reigned

he gave her
the artifact
he had plundered
long ago

while the earthquake
wobbled the earth
horrendously
beneath their feet

and as they swayed
in time
with the universe

she took his hand
and smiled
across three
centuries

meaning more to him
than all the miracles
of the entire world

and most of toledo

poem inspired by this prompt:   http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-20

the defense

you don't understand

just because
he's not here

doesn't mean
he doesn't live
in my heart

just because
he isn't nest to me

doesn't mean
we don't progress

we talk
and text

email
and write

send pictures
and videos

watch movies
and shows

we share
every part
of our lives

the parts
we wish
we couldn't do

the parts
we wish
we could do
to-gether

and the parts
we think
we can do

in the future

when life
will be stable
and the storms
will pass

and all
that will be left
is the sun

a beach

and a chance
for release

from all the hell
ahead

the book

she held the book
like a baby
in her arms
warming it close
to her chest

he thought
she would never
stop smiling
as she caressed
its cover, and
rocked it gently

she stopped
her reverie
abruptly

squeezing the life
out of him
in love and enthusiasm

he stood stiffly
sandwiched between
her and her prize

wondering when
she would
let him go

but, at the same time,
willing her to
squeeze him tighter

pulling
the darkness
away

he could die happily
that day
from the joy
that he gave the little girl
in her

if only
to rise up
and haunt her dreams
in between each page
of her precious
book

poem inspired by:    http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-19

the idea of him

to her
loving him
not only meant
loving him

but also
loving the idea
of him

she knew
it was one thing
to love his eyes
his arms

and his hair

it was another
to love
the hesitation
in his voice
right before
he made a suggestion

or the
powerful way
he opened the door
to let her in

or the
tender gaze
he gave her
through the mirror
when they got ready
for a morning adventure

she knew
the feeling
the thinking
the knowing
the singing
the haunting
the breathing

the very soul
of being him

was beautiful

and she loved it all
without even trying

marveling
at the depth
of emotion
she had

for the very whisper
of who he was

and ever
could be

(see)

poem inspired by:   http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-18

abrupt ode

he thought
he could write her
a poem

an ode
he could sing
by heart

but the pen
held still
inside his hand

and he didn't
know how
to start

poem inspired by:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-17

victor

the cold
from the drizzle
of the rain

leaked from
the cracks
in the window
nearby

and i tried
not to cry
thinking of
the memory
of you

and how you warmed
my bed
and how you warmed
my heart

and how,
by the waving
of your hand

mountains moved
out of the way

oh, what could i
say
to bring back
your sweetness

without losing
the completeness

of being the only one
who was right?

poem inspired by:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-16

bedtime ritual

first we get
to-gether

and talk about
our day

what we ate
what we saw
who we dealt with

detangling our souls
until the frustrations
are gone

then we get
the covers

and arrange them
on the bed

first the sheet
then the woven cotton
then the soft blanket

fluffing pillows
in a lattice 
of comfort and
utility

then, at last
we get in bed

and lie to-gether
side by side

asking silly questions
avoiding deep answers
acknowledging the night

negotiating
just where
we'll meet
in dreamland

do you remember 
the tree by the beach?
the one next to 
the caramel popcorn place?

i'll meet you there
with the popcorn
can you bring 
the hot cocoa?

night's done
let sleep come to the ones
who need it

may love
fill their dreams
with the hope they need

to survive the day again....

poem inspired by this prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-15

girl with death mask (she plays alone)

who is she?

the girl
with the death mask

what does she do?

she plays alone

why is she playing?

to practice her dying

where does she practice?

underneath stormy skies

how can you sit,
and calmly watch
as she slowly fades
away?

i'd like
to tell her to stay

to say
there's a hidden beauty
in life
that's just waiting
for her birth

but she'd walk the earth
to get away from
my words

so i endure
the death
just to see the light
she creates

just before she blinks

image: "Girl with Death Mask (She Plays Alone)" by Frida Kahlo

source: http://www.wikiart.org/en/frida-kahlo/girl-with-death-mask-she-plays-alone-1938

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-14

the payoff

there was a time
before we parted

when you started
to leave

you looked at me

clear eyed to cloudy

and felt there
was a need

you reached into
ready pockets

and gave me
what was there

and i stared
at the money

for quite some time

wondering what
was where

i was starving
for love

that much was certain

it was hard to say
adieu

i was starving
for affection

the attentions
you paid me

weren't enough
to see me through

so when you gave
to me what you earned

from the hell that was
your job

i paused
and looked things over
inside

and found myself
starting to nod

from lover
to leecher

equal to dependent

it should have been
a sad leap

but the whispered
caring

in an ordinary gesture

seemed to make 
life complete

i held that bill
for longer than
i should have

looking as you left

i held the bill
close to my heartstrings

remembering
what you said

was i bribed
to let you go?

probably absolutely

should i lie
and be emo

i'd rather be the beauty

who let the beast go
gracefully

in keeping with her rep

a lover, a daughter an
intimate follower

with a jingle in her step

(yep)

poem inspired by this prompt:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-13

the drive

i wish
we were in tune

all the time

i wish
i didn't need
that last word from you

i wish
i could be
a bit more cold-hearted

a lot more independent

and a little less sensitive

but here i am
wishing
the impossible again

it's best for me
to let you be
the strong one

it's best for me
to let you win

no matter what
my heart cries inside

my ride's with you

begin

after

behind the lines
and the laughter

she knew
what he was after

even before 
he said it

and she traced
a path
through the maze
of him

letting him win
while trying to
break free

like a pawn
eluding
the ever present
queen

what can't be seen
can be forgotten

in the close-mouthed
tide of the day

(at bay)

poem inspired by:   http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-12 (keeping up is hard to do... sometimes)

martina

she came
out of nowhere

watching me
through my bedroom
window

she straight up
chose me
as her mistress

but i never 
ruled over 
her

she came and went
with decision
in her step

ruling
benevolently
by my side

and when
the day
was through

i'd feel her
pat feet
around my person

looking for
a place
to be warm

was my heart
enough for
such an
independent
spirit?

i hope so

for she was
kind
and she was
smart
and she was
mine

for just a moment

but i know
i'll remember her
forever

as the one who chose me

poem inspired by this prompt:   http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-11 (try it....it's the cat's meow!)

under the cell phone light

little child
at the table
eyes wide
in curiosity

look up at me

your face is
so pale
in the light
of your cell phone

and i forget
the features
for you stay
hidden
in its shadows

claw away from
the grasp of
the future
for just a moment

and talk to me

my time
is very short
and yours
is very fast

slow down
and talk to me

(please)

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-10

cycles

in a moment
anger

in a moment
laughter

in a moment
tears

and back again

must be love

error

i could say
you were a mistake

but i don't know
how you got there

i could claim
you were karma

but i've never been
that bad

i could forget
that you happened

but i can't ignore
the pain inside

i could declare
that i'm cured

but i'll never be
that sure

instead i'll whisper
to the sun

that i'll come back
to me again

and hope
in my mind

that the sickness stays away

(for me to fight another day)

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-9

lamentations of the change

new place
learn all the
locations

where things go

new plan
learn all the
rules

what to do

one person
asking all the
questions

what to say

what can i say
when all is
new and shiny

and what i knew
is now old

and too soon forgotten

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-8 (come dive in... the water's fine!)

relax

gather up
and settle down

let the stress
of the day
fall away

try to concentrate
on the sound
of my heartbeat

close your eyes
and stay

don't fade away

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-7   (come cook up something good)

stay the child

the child in her
drank from
the maturity of me

and i,
holding back,
led her astray

for how can she
be use to me
if she were
just like me

stay the child
my darling

stay the child

watching the walk

we think
we're being watched
by friends and family

supporting us 
all the way

but we forget
we're being watched
by strangers and someones

walking beside
falling behind

people who want
to say something good

but don't know how

people who sense
the pain in your eyes

and all they can do
is open a door

pick up
your fallen newspaper

smile
for a little moment

and chase
the shadows away

with their little kindnesses
they bring the sun
closer

for just a moment more

before the cold comes back again

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-6   (challenging sometimes...but fun!)

disguise

the gentle touch of
who she was
belied the fact of
who she became

when she discovered the thorns

only the beginning

it was at the
staff Christmas party
when i first saw you

tinsel sparkling
in your hair

you were dancing
to that one pretender's song

(not the one with the pocket
but the other one)

you bobbed
and weaved
a dance that ali
would be jealous of

babbling
quite forcefully
between the beats
about the fact
that there was
only one kind of
doritos

(all the rest were impostors)

i watched
from my corner
of the world

safe behind my
bourbon and coke

and for one second
i could hear someone
whisper

"run away."

but i didn't

i stepped forward
into your light




.....it was all over for me after that

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-5   (come on in-- the water's fine)

once upon a time

once upon a time
there was a boy
who tried

for the girl who cried

and he always knew
what to say
and he always knew
what to do

to make the shadows
go away

but soon he grew tired
of being the savior

the one always in need

and he found
just what to say
and he found
just what to do

to allow himself
to slip away

and be himself again

poem inspired by:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-4  (come join in)

with you

wasn't sure
what i did

to get you

wasn't sure
who i was

around you

wasn't able
to see
what was happening
to me

but i knew
i couldn't be

without you

in the quiet
of the storm

i heard you

in the quiet
of your voice

i felt you

the promise in
what you said
dried the tears
that i shed

there is no more
to dread

i am with you

i am with you

poem inspired by: 

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-3

(try to write a poem this month :) )

every step of the way

i tried
to let go
of my fears

surrendering
control of
what i was

listening, and
questioning

every step of the way

you knew
to listen
to my fears

controlling
with compassion
and wisdom

you comforted, and
answered

every step of the way

and even though
the foolish me
still panics in
the heart

there's the start
of a cure in me

growing, and
reviving

enticing me to
find my day

every step of the way

poem inspired by:
 http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-2
(come try a prompt this month :) )

timed

the day after
the moment before
a part of the script
unplanned

the time to-gether
before we're apart
a line in the book
unwritten

all moments timed
on broken clocks
a future in the making
unscheduled

just waiting to be 
discovered

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2015-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-1 (come try it, too!)