did

i'm afraid
it won't be free and easy
anymore

i'll end up
measuring my words
twice
like they're some ingredient
in a long forgotten recipe

and you know how i cook

i'm sad that
i can't relax like i did
in before times

when giggles punctuated
wheezy breaths and 
whispers conquered
over loud yelling

and we shared storms
marveling under lighting-flecked skies

half-smiling in remembrance 
over twisted dialogues

sent across the miles
fearlessly
without a care in the world

because we knew
what we meant

once

(did)