lagging behind

sometimes
when you babble on
about what you feel and what you saw
and what you had
and what you are

i get lost in the rhythms
and forget the message

i get confused by the syllables
and forget the confessions

i lag behind the river run
of your voice

looking for the sun

standing backwards
in my humility

but in what's guilty
you talk on

and never notice

(done)

missing

she's supposed to smile

can't she see the lights
around her?

she's supposed to laugh

doesn't she know the blessings
about her?

she's supposed to jump into my arms
like she used to

sending footsteps through my soul

waking the part of me i wasn't supposed
to show

it's Christmastime
and she's supposed to be present

not hiding in the cold
of what wasn't

where is soft voice
that i strained to hear

all this lonely year?

where is who's love
and how can i bring her
back to me

(return)

one last look

one last look

before you go

one last touch

and there you are

gone again

from sight and sound

home again

in a faraway town

what made you 

catch my eye?

what made you

shape my heart?

why can't i part 

from this up and down

you all alone

in the faraway town

just waiting for

my pulse again

near to touch

and far to win

(go)

wired

there is
a thin wire
between you
and i

and it transmits
across miles
with clarity

in my ear
i hear smiles
and the deep
rumbling

of the laughter
you hide
during the day

how i wish
i didn't connect
this way with you
all the time

i can't see
i can't touch
i can't taste

but, as the moon
makes haste
in its measured
way

the blues and grays
make your voice
seemed amplified

defying all
that i know as real

feel me love you
with my giggles
and ramblings?

i do
with every breath
and every whisper

breathe 
your secrets
unto me

(see)

prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-5

chris moore

her name was
chris moore

she was an
orphan

she hung out
with david banner

in his trek
across the world

she hid in
the backseat
of starsky's car

swaying
back and forth
during car rides

she helped when
david letterman
was sick

coordinating
guest hosts and
singing in the band

she spoke
every language
and understood
every emotion

being everything
for everybody

without thinking
of herself

loved by all

living
intermingling
in the fantasies

of the girl
who climbed
a tree

and saw the fire
first

(dream)

prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-4

if i'd only

if i'd only
gone to bed early

if i'd only
not worked so much

if i'd only
eaten my vegetables
drank my fruits

and stayed away
from fried foods

if i'd only
said goodbye to
the pleasure
and embraced all
the pain

then it wouldn't have
come back

and plague me again



prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-3

dog

she sat
patiently
aware of her
surroundings

not trusting
just yet

just watching

hoping to see him
again

they saw
a princess

graceful and kind

wanting only
to be pampered

and they acted
accordingly

and in the
dark coldness
of nightfall

she followed
their path

for a moment

until the clock
spoke again

(away)


prompt:
http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-2

split

she whispered
for him to stay

begged and pleaded
along the way

but each step
took him far
from caring

his heart just wasn't in it
anymore

prompt from: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-1

wendy

there are days
i want to hug her

console her from
the water
and the rain

there are days
i want to be her

imitate her in
her drama
and her pain

there are times
i want to see her

bright eyes
defying
the storms

there are times
i want to know her

dim mind
defining
the norm

wendy
defile my spirit
with what's left
of your face

the saving grace
will be mine

(sign)

picture prompt from bliss morgan's _nightmare fuel_ series
https://plus.google.com/u/0/collection/QNsxAB

comfort words

it all comes down to
what you want
me to say

and i don't know 
what that is

time after time
i ask you
what you wish
i would say

and flowers
and spirals
and daydreams
fall out of your mouth

with scary and abrupt urgency

and you comfort yourself
with the words
that easily come
to mind

(not my mind, unfortunately)

how can you
be in love with
this club footed fool

that stumbles over
vowels and cripples
consonants in a path of
articulate destruction?

how can i show you
that what's in my heart
and what comes from your mouth

are veritably the same animal?

there are ideas trapped
deep within
my inconsistencies

travel as you please
and you'll see

there's no mystery to me
but in your eyes

unknown

only remembered
when needed

only touched
when seeded

only seen
when required

only heard
when desired

only known
when wanted

until then
nothing started

nothing gained

(refrain)

begins

you and me
were carefree
at the beginning

you
withahundredwords
a minute

telling me about
your day

and me
two syllables in
between

(the rest implied)

strapped into
a ride
without a known
end

descending into
the dark

with a light
heart

(start)

hated

that fist
that clenches
in the middle of the night

that ball of hate
that can't wait
until my eyes close

that explosion
of me knowing
how wrong i always am

that feeling
that keeps the healing
away from my door

no good anymore
the heart's on the floor

whatever was sun
is gone again

laving me brewing
tossing and turning
when all should be
free

nothing's good to me
without you

but you're past caring
about that

(away)

chosen

not this apple
but that

not that apple
but this

i watched
you select
only the best

for your basket

but as the sun
shone its way
through
the orchard

it overshadowed
the path 
to my heart

if you
are this particular
over fruit
that gets eaten

if you
are this cautious
about food
you partake

then how
did you think
i was the one
that was worth it?

how
did you know
i was the one
that would stay?

the apple
of your eye
as time passes by

rotten to the core

will you ever
find out
the secret of
my appeal

or am i
in the darkness
forevermore?

(choose)

reach out

you are
a giggle
in my ear
and a whisper
in my heart

even though
we're apart
we're still alive

when we
reach out
and dream

planes

planes take me
to you

and for that i love them

they cut through
the clouds
so lowly strung

paying no mind
to the trouble
and turbulence

of me

planes take me
away from you

and for that i hate them

they cut through
the strings
so newly begun

paying no mind
to the tears
and tribulations

of me

a miracle
of invention
and
a curse
of suspension

all encased
in cold steel
and bolts

the jolts are extra

(fly)

no rhyme required

you just can't
jump in and write a poem

it involves thought
and action and deed

a pouring of the soul
on paper and pen

loops of cursive and all

you just can't
appear out of nowhere

tapping the keys in
frustration and passion

waving your fingers
madly through the air

in search of yourself

pen to paper
cursor to letter
rhyme to reason

life to hand

those who understand
capture the phrases
and turn the pages
of your heart

one word at a time

no rhyme required
to grow

(know)

feel again

clean sheet of paper
clean heart

neat corner of the room
neat mind

cool side of the pillow
cool body

settle up accounts
and move away

past soul
past self

past help

clever words can't
define you now

walk in the shadows
of felt

and feel again

(new)

for jenn

you wrote
on the page and
in my heart

you spoke
what was dark and
what was light

you lived
in my soul and
in my brain

and so you remain

even though
the touch of you
is gone from me

so stays your memory
so stays your memory

(true)

i've got your memory

haven't looked at her
in a million forevers

but her face 
is all i see

haven't listened to her
in a thousand whispers

but her voice 
is all i hear

even though her words
were empty
and mostly confusing

even though her hugs
were childish
and often bruising

even though i knew
in my head
that she wouldn't be there

past the sun

the heart needed one
and it had to be her

why do i still remember
my doom

spirit, leave the room
and haunt another
soul

(please)

still trembling

the knives cut
at night

all the mistakes
uncovered

for all to see

i can blame
the type

i can blame
the frugality

but it was me

a help from
another side

all the panics
mostly undone

still trembling 

a voice softens
the pain

a voice lightens
the dark

something resembling
hope

rhymes too difficult
to tame
a still scared heart

facing the dawn
alone

(go)

for you

i can't thank you
enough

for you

i can't tell you
all you mean
to me

i write circles
around what
i want to say

but nothing's worthy
of you

hold me close
again

against the firing rain

and all my insanities
will run dry

for you

rain brings out the missing

be with me

just stop

for a moment

and dwell with me

just listen

for a second

and live with me

just play

and linger

don't lift a finger

to what needs to be done

overcome what you think

has to be

and be with me

just be with me

even when

i'll love you
even when
we don't see
eye to eye

when phone calls end
in pointed words
instead of
on point

when decisions
are made
to placate
rather than please

when the yes
in your heart
is quietened by
the no in your mind

i will be kind
to the end

even when lovers
turn friends

(then)

repose

quiet man
sprawled out
across the bed

silent sam
dreaming in
and out of head

watching him
as i write this
boring ode

wanting him
more than he'll
ever know

silently
holding fast
to what he is

and what he thinks
will be

when he wakes again....

(rest)

the hug

i inhaled you
with that last
embrace

hugging you strong
floating in space

walked around
our beings
with my very soul

learning to grow
all over again

where does apart
begin?

within the next step
away

(go)

you're not who i need

bleary eyed
staggering home
after an internal plead

you're not who i need

sad eyed
trying to hide the pain
insanity next to me

you're not who i need

i can't lean on
your future
because you've been
scary in the past

i can't think of
your words
without holding something
back

i can't talk the truth
to you
when you make my soul bleed

you're not who i need
you're not who i need

and still it's there

i know
you're not owning up
to me

and still i walk to you

i know
you don't say all
to me

and still i talk to you

i know
that the side of your mouth
that i see

smiles for me

even though you curse
out the other side

i don't know
all sides with you

and still i ride with you

no matter what i
delete the thought
is still there

(share)

reasoned

sometimes
the least understood

is the most said

most times
the least remembered

is the most thought of

blurs in the screen
from tears in the eyes
clear to the soul
but feign from the ties

any time
the least requested

is the most felt

and the most remembered.....

for thee and he

you
who wants it to be

shall have it

you
who wants peace

shall live in it

you
who thinks the world
of the world
that you live in
with him

you
who knows the good
in his heart

won't part from it

may thee and he
walk to-gether
in sunshine

forever

(true)

last goodbye

so much
said
with a sigh

so much
felt
with a shrug
of a shoulder

so much
released
with a sob

so much
resigned
with a nod
of a head

so much
goes by
in the twinkling
of an eye

so much
goodbye

goodbye goodbye

(gone)

no popcorn

people come
people go

and i still don't get
my popcorn

seats are open
doors are shut

but still i get
no popcorn

the tavern rages
with empty words

the people age
the flag unfurls

the hearts that melted
to-gether
beat different in
the setting sun

but still i get
no popcorn

no kernel

not one

(sigh)

mute

it's never easy
talking to you

but it's worth it

i never know
what you'll say

but i'm glad you say it

and when
the storm clouds
happen

and nothing is
said
but everything is
felt

there's a tiny part
of me
in your eyes

waiting to help

even if all i do
is sit
and say nothing

(dwell)

futile promise

i'm sorry

i scream with you
in your pain

i'm sorry

i want to hug you
again and again

i'm sorry

i know there's nothing
i can do

from so far
so far
so far away

your cries
burn into my heart
every time i
hear them

across the line

there will be
no time
that i hurt you
that much

this i say

but i know
you'll never believe
me anyway

(stay)

retrusted

can't seem to put
a label
on your emotions
anymore

you smile
and shadow
like the light
behind the clouds

you bold
and falter
like a fawn
near his mother

can't seem to win
against what
you think you are

and what 
i believe i am

stand true
for once
in the whisper
of my promise

and trust me again

i promise to be worthy

(grew)

far from romance

you scar me
with careful words

meant to keep me
in your place

you scare me
with sudden gestures

meant to keep me
in your heart

you don't know
how unsettling

your kind of romance is

you do know
your bloodletting

is far from what bliss is

building implode
at the touch of a bomb

but i have to go on
and pretend you don't
get to me

(free)

and that was that

he didn't want
to tell her

he didn't want
to share the moment

the decision was
important

and he wanted to
keep his feelings
to himself

for he truly knew he
and how it was
supposed to be

and that was that

she sensed something
and he let her

she felt something
and he dissuaded her

her logic was
unimportant

so she learned to
keep her worries
to herself

for he truly knew she
and how it was
supposed to be

and that was that

now he looks
at the aftermath

and tries to reason

and she listens
to his words

and tries to smile

both feeling
a change they can't
alter

faltering at words
that should come
naturally

to two once free
with each other

but that was that

audio version here: https://soundcloud.com/jamison99/and-that-was-that

the manners

when it all comes down
to it

you don't know anyone here

and every mistake
is uniquely yours

and defines you

so watch what you say
and what you do

don't be anything
but perfect
in this scenario

because
what's in front of you
is the truth

what's behind you
is a lie

and what's with you
is something
in between

(begin)

comparisons

he's not gonna
listen to you

night and day

like i do

he's not gonna
tolerate

your in's and out's

like i do

he's not gonna
understand

the girl you want
to be

the rainbows
that you think
you don't see

the traps
you used to lay
for me

before i got wise

he'll learn to despise
all that you're about

before you can say
"no"

let him go

you know he won't
travel your mind
with you

like i do

you'll see
soon enough

but not soon enough
for me

time's not there
for me

like it is for you

travel backwards to
your happiness

come back to me
again

(do)

lessons

a turn of a phrase
a turn at bat

a turn of the other cheek

a turn of the conversation
so sudden so sudden

a turn that was meant for meek

reverse to safer ground
my friend

revert to who you were

return to what
you thought was
reality

rebuke all that you've learned

in hopes you won't
get burned

(again)

what really matters

casual day
careless words
back and forth

sunny day
smooth caresses
up and down

mellow day
meaningful looks
to and fro

alive in secret
dead to shadows

what really matters
is you

(true)

dead end

sometimes
it's what we say
at the end of the road

that's the most important

when we know
that hearts are parting
and we realize
that what completes us

will be on pause once more

do you believe
that what we have been
these few short hours

will be enough to carry us through?

or is this a walk
to our dead end
where truth is whispered

but goodbyes are never said?

let go
of what you think you were
and hold fast
to what you hope we'll be

maybe there's a reality
in between

there's nothing left
to do
but be

(dream)

poem inspired by this prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-30

write a forever

how quick
do you want me
to say how much

i love you?

how long
do i have to
let it all out

and convince you?

in mere moments
i can describe to you
how smooth your voice
is

when you sneak in
a "hello" at work

in small seconds
i can relay to you
how pleasing the lights
play on your eyes

when you smile at me
from across the room

in about an hour
i can tell you
how much i rely
on what you say
when you don't say it

and what you feel
when you don't mean it

and what you are
when you don't even know
what you're thinking

this i believe
to be true

i could write a forever
with you

audio version here:  https://soundcloud.com/jamison99/write-a-forever

inspired by this prompt:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-29

important message

there was always
an important message
hidden in her eyes

but he never knew
how to extract it

so he just let it go

there was always
an unspoken feeling
playing on her face

but he never knew
how to attract it

so he just let it pass

then one day
there were no thoughts
that danced in her eyes

and that day
there were no feelings
that showed upon her face

so he just walked away

that's all that's left to say.

(end)

inspired by this prompt:  http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-28

took off

she took off
her ring
to-day

she let it fall
to the floor
and bounce away

the weight
she felt
flew off her shoulders

and she grew bolder
again

walking away
with the changing wind

(send)

inspired by this prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-27

surrender

love sometimes
means

doing what you don't
want to do

being who you don't
want to be

and living the way
you never thought
you could

just for a little peace

(do)

inspired by this prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-26

the gym

i lost control
of the situation

life didn't give
like i hoped it would

and the wind 
blew on

i needed control
of myself

life took away
all hope inside

so i went to the gym

at the gym
i run out

all the hell inside me

at the gym
i stretch out

all the tension around

at the gym
i'm in control

all the time i'm there

a safe haven
of steel
and torture

keeping the troubles
at bay

(away)

inspired by this prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-25

lost me

used to think
i had to entertain
to go insane
to keep someone
near

used to think
that what i did
mattered more than
who i was

used to think
that the shadow
of you
walking past
my soul

was all that i needed

i lost
my mind
for you

when did
sensibility
come back?

i lost
my nerve
for you

when did
vulnerability
go away?

i was so little
so little
so little

how did i grow up
so fast?

(past)

inspired by this prompt: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-24

the slipper

did you never
look up
into cinderella's eyes

before the prize ran away?

did you have to
rely on
the slipper you found

after she ran round the corner?

did you never
think to
remember the face

before she had the grace to fall?

did you have to
trace all
the steps she ran

before you planned your future?

(seek)

poem inspired by: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2016-april-pad-challenge-day-23