news

for those following at home... i got some good news this morning.  it looks like i'm cancer free right now.

of course there will be test in the future, to make sure the lymphoma doesn't come back .... but i look forward to these tests.  i want to know i'm cured... i want to be able to believe the good news...

i want to be normal again

so for now, i'm quietly celebrating... with a smoothie and a tentative smile... my emotions will catch up with my insides eventually, i'm sure ...

thank you for your good thoughts

(hope)

truth

the truth
comes out
late at night

in a package
opened by force

did you really
think the answer
was going to go
your way?

of course not

you are the
unwashed hippy

you haven't been
subtle
a day in your life

what you
think of
as magic
is just flashing lights

reflected
in the bottom of the gutter

learn
to be what you want

wallow
in what is true

never change
the untalented ways
you walk

live the blue

it'll all be darkness soon

(go)

15 word-- warning

without fear
and a little dazed
crazed look upon my hair

look out sunny day!

unheard

look away lady
what secrets
do you hold?

how did you
entrance him
all those years?

am i all the better
for him
or were you the home
he needed?

far away lady
what hopes
did you have?

did you really
want the moon
and stars around him?

am i just a silliness
that can't compare to
your deepness?

strident but true

what was it
about you
that made him sane?

am i doing the same?

how can i be
like you
but stay me, too?

look away lady
look my way
and tell me how to be

it seems
all you see

is better than
i'll ever be

(look)

snow ago

wish i knew
what i could say
to all the worries you have

wish i could
take away all the bad
that surrounds you

but i can't

all i can do
is point the way
to where you want to go

letting you know
that i'm with you
to guide you through the storm

because
even when you're tattered
and torn

you're still you
a part of me
i never knew i had

forget the bad
and let dreams come true

me and you
to-gether

(we)

do

sleep and heal
dream and feel hope
rest and breathe
and please believe
that you will smile again

(soon)

15 word: fear

my fears
like storm clouds
roll in darkness overhead
reminding me
of the impending
doom

introduction

hi, my name is lynn p.and i'm a poet.  it's been twenty minutes since my last poem, and i'm afraid i'll slip into the odes again.

i don't mind

poetry lets out the emotions of me. poetry keeps the secrets of me. poetry helps me learn about me, and how i can tell someone else about the mystery of me.

and so i scribe

i want to encourage others to write.  i want them to think they can pick up a pen, and let out all the frustrations of the day ... laying them out phrase after phrase ... until they can make sense of what they have inside ...

like i do

i worry that sometimes i write too much because i don't want to bombard the stratosphere with my words.  i worry when i don't write, because i think i'm losing the muse.

sometimes i worry too much

for even when the world thinks i'm quiet, i'm fire inside...  i'm so alive with words sometimes that i burst into vowels and rhymes

i do it all the time

even in my darkest days i type and rage

may the pages always be kind

to me and thee

(thrive)

dream message

oh

i'm glad this went to 

voicemail

i didn't want to wake you

well i did

sort of

i wanted to hear you breathe

yeah i know

i sound psychotic

but most people in love

do

with what they say 

with what they write

with what they feel inside

to-day's going to be

a long day

full of negotiations

and celebrations

several thousand people

will be asking 

for help

and i'll be there for them

it's just . . .

i wanted to tell you

how much you mean

i wanted to calm myself

in the warmth of your voice

i wanted to give to you

what you give to me

tranquility

for in this big mess 

of a world

there's just you 

and me

and i'm so happy

to be a part

of us

(later)

reminder to me

remember you're here
to help all the others

remember you're part
of a team

remember to think
the best of your brothers

and don't forget to dream

(grow)

to poe

poe
did we ever know you?

did you show us
any part of your soul?

i see you in the rain
wind pushing the
tatters of your coat

back and forth

as you look out
with such
intensity

at nothing we see

poe
could we ever know you?

was your heart
telling tales
only for you?

never
was the chance
that i could understand you

always
is the hope
that i could sit with you

and let you spin
your tales
of woe

and learn to know
the sadness behind
them

(speak)

i will live

i will live
beyond my years
i'll go on
despite my fears

no little pains
can stop me now

i'll show you how
i live

once words are
true
and hopes are
confirmed

you will learn
what's under my skin

and just how strong
i've always been

(grow)

soul's cry

the more

you push

the uncertainty

the more 

i want

to shrivel and die

the more 

you shrug

your shoulders

to the future

the more 

i want 

to hide from

whatever comes

why try

when nothing good's 

coming my way?

why hope

when nothing new's

about to be born?

why live

with my own inequity

when the calm 

that i want to see

is in a blur

just beyond me

with no road ahead
to set me free

comfort me

or free me to the stars

(now)

in praise of vulcan

there's something about the flicking of a zippo lighter.... the percussion of the flint against the wheel... the feel of the wheel against the finger... the spark that happens... even the smell of lighter fluid that you smell when you start up the flame....

it's distinctly... powerful.  

you made fire in the palm of your hand.  neanderthals would be amazed at the magic you made....

shine on, firemaker... shine on

discovery

i guess
the best thing
to know

is that we
don't know
each other

that's not so bad

we're still
on the road
of our own
revelations

in a land
of our own
creation

do you see
the potholes
and the hills
along the way?

i don't

all i see
are trees
and sunshine

and the ocean ahead

steer me past
the unknowns
(that i choose not to see)

and i'll tell of
the bright future
that could be us

if we let it

we'll travel
the road to-gether

closer and closer
with each discovery

and we'll find the way
to you and me

as we walk along

(go)

fairytale's end

i think of
all the time
that i thought we were one

growing closer
and fonder
with each day

learning
dislikes and
likes

hopes and
dreams

the ins and
outs of
what we could be

i was weaving the
fairy tale life
through the holes
in the road ahead

wishing and
hoping for an end
to the growing doubt
inside of me

looking at
your eyes
time and time again

willing you to speak

i think of how
hard
i tried to keep us
to-gether

sailing the moon
and back
just for your smiles

and i grow tired
of the effort

tired
of the hope

tired
of the candyland images
i made

just to keep you mine

were you ever mine?

let time stand still
as i sleep away

all the tears
you gave to me

and all the fears
of to-morrow

just around the riverbend

(end)

broken

so much
can be stopped
with a touch

so much
can be healed
with a hug

but from
far away

all i can say
over and over again

is i'm sorry
i flee

i'm sorry
for the things
that have
to be

and i'm sorry
i'm me

(far)

difficulties

i know
it's hard
being around me

i can't communicate
without
pen and paper near

i feel the pain
that no one else
understands

always
in the way
always
out of tune

always
one step behind

i don't know
what i can offer
to counter all
these sins

i make the same
mistakes
over and over again

i make my eyes
blind
looking for the sun

i run
and there's no way
you can find me

always the victim
of my own
tragic scenes

lost in an island
of my own
broken dreams

(gone)

audio version here: https://soundcloud.com/jamison99/difficulties

what could have been

and i remember
how it was
and how it could have been

and i resolve
to have it happen again
the way it was before

in my memory
and through my mind
in my heart
and all through time

looking out
at what could have been

and loving you
all over again

(soon)

calm

think calm
quiet thoughts

close your eyes
and sing a favourite song
inside

lie very still
as the wave
goes through you

don't worry about
what will be found

don't worry about
what will happen

just relax inside
and dream

just for once

and the sun
will come to you
again

(soon)

cold

that moment when
they betray you
with a greeting

never acknowledging
the pain you shared
with them

leaving you
adrift
abandoned

unknowing

searching for
a path
back to normalcy

in the scenes
in the play
of love

(need)

ode to the one who's lonely and blue and doesn't know what to do about it

no words
can be said

no tears
can be shed

for the one left lonely

no bridge
can see her through

no path
can bring her to

the one she wants to be with

how far
the distance seems

how far
her hopes and dreams

when the cold sets in

how true
can her eyes see

how soon
can her time be

when the sun shines again

(blue)

audio version here: https://soundcloud.com/jamison99/ode-to-the-one-whos-lonely-and-blue-and-doesnt-know-what-to-do-about-it

stars

i know
we're underneath
the same stars

but i'm selfish

i want to be
where you are

breathing the same air

i want to bug you again
love you again
remind you again
and again

that you are worthy
of the happiness

even though
you don't believe
forever

i do 

staying true
is easy

when i think
of you

(know)

monday

if you hate mondays
you'll have to find
another time to dream

doodle your desires
in between the pages
of that long resume

write the sketch of a story
in the corner
of your briefcase

hide your ideas
in the twinkle
of your eyes

don't lose the plans
you capture between
paper and pen

you'll need their direction
when the weekend
comes again

(hope)

ode to a speeding road

flying across the road

to the sea, to the sea

stopping for tater tots

for you, but mostly me

hoping for the sun 

to stay high, to stay high

hoping for time

not to pass us by

build a bridge with me

and i will travel to thee

in mind and soul

forever

(true)

answers

figuring out you
is figuring out me

asking me questions
is opening places
to you

the talk we
make
both aimless
and directed

lead to the place
where we're always
connected

two souls in
search of the sun

finding the one
that's in us

to give to
ourselves again

(learn)

advised

stumbling along
fog around my heart
no place to go
no idea how to start

confusion inside
'til i'm mute with worry
eyes look for the way
'til tears make them blurry

this is the time
i grow up inside
alone without confidence
every step a slide

nothing to blame
but what's left of my soul
to-gether with turbulence
no one in control

(begin)