nov pad 2014 24: i'll be

i'll be here
just where i don't
want to be

in the coldness
of your shadow

in the nonsense
of your rebuttals

in the heat
of your glance

in the confusion
of your comforts

i'll be here
lagging behind

as you make the path
for me

in guilt
and suspicion

shame
and affliction

gritting my teeth
and walking through

even though this time
i don't know why

(on)