insides

the time to work is now
but i feel a chill inside
that won't ever leave

is it sickness from
all the germs surrounding me
or is it my brain?

if i don't learn how
to let go of what i feel
it will eat me up

the whispers

when all that was left
was my whispers

when all i could see
was me

i went down to
the bottom of
where i was

and talked to
the collection
that surrounded me

i told the tales
i remembered

from childhood days
of comfort

i confessed the sins
i recalled

from misspent days
of anger

i cried the thoughts
i received

from endless nights
and empty days

where all i could see
was the faded haze

of what life was
once before

i tore the air
with my utterings

but no one answered
with my name

(hush)

the world

the whole world
weeps
from the inside

smiles 
on the outside

and moves on
best they can

(land)

all angles

to look at us
from all angles

the silly
and the dull

the real
and the fake
emotions

the feeling
and the numb

to understand
how we look
and how we think

from every side
and in between

keeping the
mystery of your
anger out

and the
vagueness of my
sadness away

bringing it all
into focus

before you snap
again

(can't win)

questions

can we go in time
back to where impending doom
was just london fog?

can we look forward
to the place where the sun shines
and the news is still?

can we hope to touch
the people we miss so much
even for a day?

if only

if i could see them
again

oh what would 
i say?

the man with the weathered
smile
who had a story about
everything

his words meandered and
circled around a point

that never came
as he went on

the man who spoke
like a boy
who wanted to share
every dvd he was
checking out

and how he was taking
a tour of the world

from inside his house

the lady who knew
it all
and was wearing gloves
before she needed to

she could see what
was ahead
as she strongly paced by

whistling down the wind

the difficult people
i didn't know how
to talk to

the happy people
i didn't know how
to entertain

the quiet people
i didn't know how
to whisper to

i'd like to try again
to speak to each
one of them

if only for just
a little while

(miles)

fear

i was once daring
nothing caught the sight of me
as i marched on by

now all i can see
is pain, fear, and anarchy
what on earth is this?

told to stay inside
but my thoughts are far away
you can't pin my heart

two of me

there are two of me
inside

(one you cannot see)

one official
with official words and
policies

meant to convey sanity

(and one shivering
at every corner

forlorn, and alone

hoping for a reprieve)

the one outside
knows all the answers,

or can find them
at a blink of the eye

steadfast and wise

(one wanting to
burst into tears
in a moment

sad and disappointed

staring at the skies)

i speak with
the intelligence of one

(and the heart of another)

trying to balance
the trembling inside

at all costs

it would exhaust me
if i wasn't used to being
all to-gether proper

(and a messy all apart)

(heart)

two views

it's funny to see
the pictures
we take

you with your
angles and inclinations
without a bit of colour

or an innovative filter

me with my
"omg, look, there's water!"
or
"did you see that one sunset?
stop so i can capture it!"

or
"sshhhh...be very very quiet
i'm talking a picture
of your ear

....hold still!"

at the end of the day
your photos lay
in the front page
of any history
book.....

and mine hide in
strange blogs about
doritos and smog
and cryptic rhymes

that try hard to be
sublime

but only end up
obscene

(dream)

last horse at belmont

the steed with an egg
all over its face and hair
can no longer run

you can hear her cry
if your feet are very still
and your heart is true

"i once was a prize
now my eyes can only see
my past victories" 

last dance

she was dancing
in death

at the dawn
of the night

and her friends
gathered 'round her

to complete
the rite

no more would
she have to

fret and fight

no more would
her feelings

block out the light

he was
but an unfortunate
memory

stuck in the
quiet of her
reverie

but left
far away 
from her heart

(start)

unknown darkness

i often think of you
as the mystery
beside me

no matter how long
i ride with you
i can't understand
a thing

perhaps that's best

for to know you
like the back
of my hand
means i'd try to make
some spurious stand

and slink away
from the mess
i made

lather, rinse, repeat

this way
i'll never know
the price i'd pay
if i left the darkness
for what i think is day

and let your shadows
envelop me

like some lost letter
flying in the night

(sight)

tree home

when you climb a tree
it's like in another world
breathing higher air

-------------------------

i used to climb trees
to escape chaos below
hiding in plain sight

---------------------------

if you look for me
listen for footfalls above
please bring doritos