red

home's not home

anymore

since he's been gone

all i seem to do

is wander

and look halfway

interested

at everything

since we've parted

all i've ever been

able to do

is play the game

fill in the blanks

answer the questions

count all my steps

trying to do my best

to will the day

after the day 

after to-morrow comes

even if 

nothing happens

on that day

at least it'll be

further away

from the day

i moved my heart

apart from him

many stems 

will grow until

the sun warms

the world again

(look)

stairs

sometimes
i catch sight of you
on the steps
in the light
underneath me
looking up

light eyes
glimmering in
the sunlight

and i have to
catch a breath
before i say anything
foolish

play it cool
so you won't worry
about my sanity

try hard to
tap down the
tender throb of love
within me

and say something
flippant like:

"what's for dinner,
you rampant hedgehog?"

pretending to listen
to the choice of restaurants
as i will myself into
the land of the consumer

and let the poet
float away
if only for the
moment

sustenance must
be found
with the sound
of my heart's beating

over and over again

(thump)

webs

if charlotte was poe
all her odes would be haikus
all her visions doom

-----------------------

whatever you do
don't walk in a spider's web
step by step you'll die

----------------------------

spinning every morn
catching every night and day
death is commonplace

new girl

a new girl
sallies forth

from the shadow left behind

cautiously walking
to the unknown

whatever happens
now
is unwritten words

unseen visions
and
unknown dreams

it isn't necessary
to look back
at her old self

(she's always
over her shoulder)

the important thing
to do

is talk
without seeing

feel 
without feeling

and live
without meaning

this bravery
will stand

even when
there isn't a touch

from a guiding hand

walk on

(go)

stay

there can be
a day like this

where nothing
has happened
and all is bliss

just a chance
to dwell
among ourselves

to file away giggles
along the shelves

and store the memories
of lazybone days

where nothing ventured
was everything gained

and nothing was the same

(stay)

ziploc of the sea

you kept me within
floating in your paradise
waiting for the pour

------------------------

don't you understand
when your land hides from the sun
then nothing is real

-----------------------

floating in the sea
protected by ocean's hell
heaven cannot breathe

time

there is a time
for happiness

a time
for thoughtfulness

and a time
for deep understanding

if you're not to demanding
you can have them
all at once

(love)

mooncatchers

the mooncatchers came
in the middle of the night

and stole the beauty
from our sight

so no matter how
we choose to fight

we won't know
who's wrong or right

all is illusion
in the dark

(start)

sonata

he couldn't play her
his heart song

(well, not on the first date,
anyway)

so he pulled out
an old tune
sung on the stage

with forgotten lyrics
and hidden meanings
not even the composer
dreamed about

and as he walked
his fingers
up and down the keys

he felt her grow
at ease with him

relaxing against
his arm
entranced with the
rhythmic movement

of love that wanted
to grow
underneath all the
arpeggios

into a hidden sonata
he would bring

(sing)

half dead

i'm a death hag

by design

a researcher

by trade

and a death seeker

by heart

i know when

they died,

how they died,

who they died with,

and can pull up pictures

showing why they died

but why do i pursue 

death?

it's no real comfort

to know these details

to walk the path

to the darkest black

where no one comes back

except as casper

why does my heart

beat faster as i answer

each factual question 

put before me?

and why does every

sunrise lead me to thoughts of

my own demise

over and over again

all i can do is comfort 

when i can

and help 

with all that i am

this is the plan

that will distract me

from the darkness

even if it's just 

for a little while

(blink)

sometimes

sometimes
i don't know you

then sometimes
i don't know you
but i know what
you're about to say

then sometimes
i don't know you
i don't know what
you're about to say

but i know what you're giggling about

then sometimes
i don't know you
i don't know what
you're about to say
i don't hear a giggle

but i see a look
from your calm blue eyes
that makes me fall silent
inside

and i understand

mostly

(done)

the last thing

the last thing i did
before i gave it all away
was look to the light

and sigh

my hand
didn't feel like
my hand

the sun
didn't feel like
the sun

and my heart beat
through the mud in the middle
slower and slower

i could have said
a million words
to sum up my life

like historic people do

but all i could do
was breathe out
one last breath to the earth

a final contribution
to the maze that was
my life

solving nothing
in it's brevity
but forcing through
the naivety

one last time

before the clouds
rolled the stone
away

(stay)

by heart

i still see you
with the sun in your eyes

leaping, and prancing
in the wind

and even though
you walked away
from me

i could still sense
where you were
what you were doing
what you were thinking

in heart

now the syllables are few
between me and you

and hair covers your eyes
from my inquisitive gaze

and even though i want to
know you
by heart

my brain gets in the way

trying to make sense
of a time that never
makes sense

even by the person
living the times

of unknown sketches
and unwritten rhymes

(grow)