the dance

i am sorry that
whenever we sway to songs
i'm always crying

mystery

peering
over the shoulder

of the man with 
no skin

wondering what's happening
within his heart

even though he's
transparent
to everyone's eyes

what's buried
inside
is a mystery

to him and me

(look)

the empty chair

when you get
three or four songs
droning on

it becomes an
endless calliope
set free

and when the sun
warms your shoulder
words become bolder
in an instant

and the hot keys
of the keyboard
don't go anywhere
special

but ramble on
in a cluster
of rhymes
that fluster you
with their
awkwardness

the empty chair 
waits for you

even if i don't know
enough about the you
i recognize as my own

and less about the self
that trails behind

(mind)

antidote

with every
rotation
you make
while you clean

and every
damnation
you utter
as you move

i can feel
the frustration
you're trying to
get rid of

and i search
a dozen times over
for a way to help you
let go

and i scan
up and down me
to make sure i'm not
the trouble

and i long
for a time when you
finally collapse
close by

so i can hold you
as close as you'll let me
as long as you'll take me

as needed
only as directed
by your sighs

and the release
of your soul

(let go)

serendipity

a place called

serendipity

is where you will

find me

beyond the painted

scenery

and the dancing

of the sea

but don't order the

stromboli

because it's as big

as a fucking house!

bones

it's hard for me
to write about
bones
and skeletons

so early in the morning

the only skeleton
i sort of knew
was skeletor

and i often wondered
about his diet
and what happened
to his skin

and his hair situation

as for the other subject...

there was this one time
i was watching star trek

when i was much younger

and all of a sudden kirk
appeared
in the transporter room

looking disheveled and
slightly out of it

and all he said
in his big fat close-up

was
"bones!"

then he fell over
and everyone dogpiled him
with care

leaving me quite 
confused

were the bones
trying to jump out
of his body?

had he been attacked
by a ravenous pile of
drumstick pieces
that fell off of
some zombie chicken

or was he just hungry 
for marrow
that day?

it took me forever to figure out
he was calling for the wise
cute older man doctor
dude

who never was anything else
but a doctor, dammit

(space was weirdly specific
back then... )

(bones)

distracted

it's ok
i forgot you were at
the car dealer

(how can i do business
when she's tiptoe like
an ostrich)

we can wrap up
this business
in an instant

(watch out for
the endtable!)

i'll send them
an email

(make that limping
like an ostrich)

cc you
and bcc everyone

(oh God, not the lotion)

and let them know
we've done all
we can do

(when she slathers it on,
it sounds like two kindergartners
breaking in galoshes 
on the way to school
in the rain)

let stone and
betty know

(i can smell her 
conditioner 
from here)

and it'll
work itself out

(it smells like 
passion fruit flowers 
in the rainforest)

just sit tight
and fix your car

(which is ironic 
because she's never left
the midwest)

i know that can
be horrendous

(because of the
protective order)

thanks for listening
sorry if i'm a bit

distracted

yeah
vacation
but.... work goes on....

(does she have to floss
and yodel at the same time?)

all right
see ya soon

(bye)

i enjoy

i enjoy
knowing you

even though i don't

i enjoy
trying to please you

even though i don't succeed

i enjoy
the spontaneous laughter

even when the jokes on me

i enjoy
baring my soul

even when it's met by silence

i enjoy you
teaching me

about all my shortcomings
and all my thoughtlessness 

it makes me admire you
all the more

for putting up
with the lack of me

in your perfection
of life

(be)

being human

you hug me
like a child

squeezing the life
out of me
and into me again

squealing endearments
higher than the human ear
can decipher

and yet
i understand your
excitement
and am glad for
the lack of control
you display

because with
each way you
find to express
your love

you release
the joy in me

and the
feelings
i've tried not to
show for years

come
tumbling out
in the company
of a trusted
companion

one who knows
how hard
being human
can be

and one
who'll know
how to help me
find my way home

(good)

steps of love

i just read
in the book of them

that us does not 
equal us

i was sure
in my heart of hearts

that i could make
our impossibility
work

but all i'm doing
is stomping on
my soul

with every step
i take your way

(squish)

nine word story: one whisper

with one whisper
he calmed
all the storms
inside

after all

after all
the trouble i've caused
you

you're still here

after all
the worries you've made me
worry

i'm still here

is it a tribute
to the steadfast nature
the untold nurture
that makes us
one

or is it a
fool hearted exercise
that melds our minds
into
goo?

i never thought
that you
would stay

when you walked
out that door
that day

pacing the hall
deciding my fate

with you

you stayed true
through the uncertainty
of us

even when
the chance for us

is barely above 
a whisper

(linger)

https://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2019-april-pad-challenge-day-6

broken streams

the problem with me
writing stream of consciousness
is the fact that i start
and stop

with no reason

and i worry about what
i'm about to say

and the consequences of 
what will be said

so i listen
to what i think i'm going
to think

tell what i don't have
any reason to tell

and live like i know
the difference between a
good me

and a bad one

now that i think of it
this isn't a stream
at all

but line segments
in search of a target

and the promise of
popcorn besides

(true)

decisions

i feel like
if i hug her
i can't stop

so i won't start

i feel like
if i listen to her
i can't function

so i shun her

i feel
every step she takes
in her day

away from my sight

pulls my heart
so tight

it can't beat again

so i leave again

(no)

broke

i forgive you
all your awkwardness

i forgive you
all your jokes and
untterances

i forgive you
all of that

for just a little peace

i'll stop trying
at this time

i'll stop looking
for what completes me

i'll close off
all the passions
inside

don't worry

they don't matter anymore

(done)

differences

can there really be
true understanding
between people as different
as us?

me with my wild hair
feeling too many feelings
trembling in exhaustion 
over other people's troubles

and you sensibly looking
over the heads of the crowd

searching for my shadow

tracing my faltering steps
in unsteady sand

following me to my doom
which i always fear is very soon

but to-morrow never comes

(us)

#this

can't measure

what you can't hold

feline diverson

don't know
how you got in here

don't like
how you stretch across
my bed

like a cat
cool and confident
silouetting shadows
in the night

i keep to my books
on one side

hiding from the threat
i perceive

never knew i needed
you

until you came stalking in

https://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2019-april-pad-challenge-day-3

for the plus

walking down empty halls
trying every door

looking for the places i used to explore

wishing there was more than a whisper
to hear

from the ones so dear to my heart

it was more than a network
of wires and fuses

it was more than the net worth
of a thousand jacuzzis

it was a hand in the darkness
that guided my muse

down paths the old me would never have used

pushing me past the steel gears and
electric beams

into a memory of discovery and dreams


(know)

diverse mornings

in the morning
she was an arm's length away

sucking the oxygen
from the room
with every snore

twitching the blankets
off my side of the bed

with every tremble

in the morning
he was a million miles away

renewing the energy
in my existence
with every breath

giving up the warmth
that he didn't need

to keep me from trembling

(both)