i'm out of my depth

in the chill
of open places
surrounded by
unknown faces

i stand alone

emo goth in
shades of red
i can feel so
better off dead
my life on loan

must it all be
wrath and kaos?
must i be so
full of pathos
in thought and deed?

it's better to be
in constant feeling
than live life
without meaning

this is my only creed

just a little while

it will only be
for just a little while

don't worry

there's another boat
for the daddies

this one is for you
and mommy

please let go

i know, dear

i've held you
so close
for almost all
of your seven years

you barely 
touched the floor

i was always
picking you up
to dance
and hug
and look at things
to-gether

you were always
so small

all right,
big girl
let me pick you up
one last time
before you go into the boat

be a good girl

do you see the stars?
yes, in the sky

so many of them
are falling
to-night

see them?
one .... two.... three....

keep counting
keep watching

keep looking up

(dear, take her
hold her close
keep her warm
i know you will, darling)

four ....
five ....

goodbye, sweet girl
for just a little whole

i love you

six ....
seven .....

keep looking up,
baby girl

goodbye

intelligence

i always check
"intelligence"

when a quiz asks for
what i want in
a man

and that's my 
downfall

because all the smart men
i know

either lord their brain cells
over me

trying to teach me

or silently criticize
what i'm saying

almost before i say it

once i make a mistake
i want to learn my lesson

then never think about it
again

not have this walking
tape recorder

spool out every error
i've done

just to remind me
that i'm dumb

just to prove the point
that they always have

just to bring down
the best part of me

(the part they saw
as fascinating
not so long ago)

(end)

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2018-april-pad-challenge-day-5

lament

you wouldn't expect me

to marry 

a normal girl

an average woman

of the world

you'd know i had to

touch the stratosphere

to know i'm nearer

to love

and even though she's 

gone and grey

and the hazy days

have come

i know no one can 

take away that girl

that extraordinary girl

i knew

and loved

(no)

case study

i feel your eyes
travel up and down
me

all around me

trying to figure out
the next word

i see your hands
orbit the way
from me

in between us

looking for a
place to land

i know your thoughts
don't meet the sight
of me

floating over me

hoping for a pause
to understand

i'm a dossier
of deliverance
in your hands

a case study
of chaos
in your heart

almost on the brink
of good

(know)

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2018-april-pad-challenge-day-4

stop

stop all the nervousness
push away the fear

turn it to excitement
for whatever is near

channel all the downs
that refuse to end

think about good days
so soon to begin

stop all the tension
and just go.....

you'll know what to do next

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2018-april-pad-challenge-day-3

portraits in sand

temporary smiles
on open faces

bathed on orange

one with hair
every which way

one with hair
controlled and smooth

one who pleases
at a moment's notice

one who never lies

holding hands against a world
of their own making

evading reality just one
last time

before the grind starts 
again

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2018-april-pad-challenge-day-2

secret whispers

secret whispers
behind a tree

discreet hand
reaching for me

hopeful glance
around my heart

covered tears
when we part

it's hard hiding
the mystery of you

when the reality is
too good to be true

(psst)

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2018-april-pad-challenge-day-1