unspokens

all the things
i hid from you
on the sly

were found out
in the end

but all the things
i wore on my sleeve

were never seen
at all

all the times
i whispered my sighs

all the times
i pleaded with my eyes

all the times
i kicked you and ran away

saying the things
i couldn't say

with a shove

you found the love
in my words

but passed the worries
away

looking for the day
inside

(see)

don't lean

don't lean on him
too much

for when he fails you
(and he will)
you'll find it
that much harder
to get up

but don't worry

the strength you gain
in the rising
will be much better
than any wooing
that you receive

believe me
you'll walk again

gone

we all thought
we'd lose her

before we did

we'd written her off
until the writing
was off the page

eloquent phrases
with several syllables
designed to roll off the
tongues of the best
broadcasters

just waiting for her fall

didn't know she'd go
as soon as she did

but she's gone

and nothing but
everything isn't the same

strategy

if i sit
and talk about
the normal

then the abnormal
will go away

if i look
in the opposite
direction

the inflections
in my words
will save the day

if i ignore
the reality

cover
the insanity

and look past
what's you and me

towards the ideal

then what is real
will fade away

into the vision
i want to stay

(or not)

game plan

no win
no try
no live
no be

just do

no listen
no try
no understand
no see

just do

follow
no lead

lie
no caress

do what's best
to let him see

that he's the good
in me

and then let go

too much, just enough

i've forced your eyes
open
more than they've ever seen
before

i've made you think 
too much

i've tuned your ears
up
more than they've ever heard
before

i've made you try
too much

you tire at the thought
of being with me

yet you step over step
across rug
and pillows

looking for me

and as you lean
your head
on my tummy
and listen
to my being

i become still
for you

breathing in
the love
breathing out
the pain

over and over again
until the sea
calms for me

and you

(true)

i'll be the one

i'll be with you
even if you don't
understand me

i'll smooth it out
for you

i'll be around you
even if you
frustrate me

i'll tough it out 
for you

i'll flatten
all the hills
that grow between us

i'll salt
all the skids
that try to stumble us

and when
you don't think
you can go on
anymore

i'll be
the one who'll
remind you
what for

again and again and again

until the sun
shines once more

(us)

defined

i don't want
to fly anymore

i don't want
to try anymore

you opened my eyes
and now i finally
see

just the who i'm
meant to be

i don't want
to give anymore

i don't want
to live anymore

your words relive
in my heart

teaching it to
tear me apart

i don't want to
plea anymore

i don't want to
be anymore

you finally define
how you feel

and now nothing
in me is real

(go)

ago

back in the day
when the outside air
was only a windowsill
away

me with a big book
about death
that i'd checked out
over and over again
from the library

listening to the endless
houston rain
as i thumbed through
the pages

"love tko" sliding
in and out of earshot

wiling the day away
in the only peace
i could hold on to

before the storm
started once more

(grow)

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2017-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-30