carved

carving myself

molding
what's left of
my life

to the promise
of you

carving out
what's untrue

forgetting
the untold dreams

what seems
to be real
is what remains
intact

as i shatter
myself
into bits

over you

(true)

to kyla (who may never read this)

she wrote
as she talked

in tiny letters
and precise sentences

ladylike and free

she encouraged
on the way out

leaving gifts of
sweets and warm
sustenance

neatly packaged in 
spontaneous surprise

will we ever see her
again?

will she know that
she made a difference?

teaching with the
sound of polite
silence

and a graceful wave
of her hand?

(i hope so)

sometimes
the stillest voice
has the most to say

and lessons
can be learned
from the whispers

of what they leave behind

(adieu)

passing in the night

when it all
comes down
to it

we're just
two shits
passing in the
night

trying to
avoid a fight

or a glance our way

keep it light
fill in the blanks

step away
when you have
the chance

hope again
for brighter days

but don't believe
they'll ever come
your way

(oh for a damn rhyme!)

walking on by

you can leave

you can pass
on by
at your earliest
convenience

you can
let go
and walk
away

but my heart
is still beating
like it did
before

my breath
is still catching
like it did
in the nights
of question

when the moon
blinded our eyes
from the truth
of the matter

and the darkness
hid our shame

walk by me
once more
and see

what you 
drug out 
of me

and what
shards are left
behind

(look)

the taking

didn't think
anyone cared
enough to find me

i was always
too vague for
the walk

didn't know
anyone thought
enough to see me

playing games
with the tone
of my talk

didn't realize
that the bread crumbs
i dropped
along the way

weren't left in play

be serious
and take me away

(say)

ahead

what was foggy
cannot be made clear

what is dead
cannot be made alive

realize the truth
in what you did

and take action

you rule
the new

looking out
for the old

forming partnerships
with what once was

never trusting again
"what could be"

destiny
is but a foot away

(look)

silence

silence is the worst answer.  i am learning that the silent treatment cuts to the core in its minimalist way.  this teaches me not to do the same with someone else.  i am grateful for the lesson.

mother's lament

you'll be fine
and i know
that it's time to let go

after all
it's only down the way

and there's people
to watch you
and you know
just what to do

when danger
darkens your day

but i can't help
wanting you to stay

missing you
every step of the way
little man

missing you
every step of the way

back home

his velvet voice
before his rest

reassuring himself
that he can go on

touches my heart
even from afar

leading my thoughts back home

and even though
he can do it himself

even though
he can survive on his own

what i wouldn't do
to be nearby

ending this endless roam

tracing my footsteps back home

final?

what would
you want to
take away

from the last moment 
of forever?

what would
you want to
carry inside

from your last day
of freedom?

the sips of coffee
between the sleeps?

the glimpse of a smile
before it gets deep?

the loud frustration
before a sound of a sigh?

the quiet surrender
before you said goodbye?

what will you
pack away
within your clothes
and toiletries?

what will you
remember about
me

and will i ever
see you
again?

(soon?)

prompt book: lazy day

what is your favourite way to spend a lazy day?

we were too tired
to go out
or
we were mesmerized
by the internet
or
it was storming
and the rain
soothed away
the will to adventure
outside

or something

so instead of
putting on faces
and donning
outside clothes

we dropped
our poses
and just

cuddled near

one semi-studiously
leading troops
into battle

one weaving
in and out
of distant friends'
lives

each overseeing
in distant
directions

grounded
in the to-getherness
of the other

loving the day away

(be)

words remain

why do you write

in pencil?

don't you realize

that your lines

will fade away?

don't you want
your words
to live forever?

or do you want
the spirit
of your life
to leave

with a wave of your hand?

make a mark
that's permanent
make a way
that's true

make a thought
that's hopeful

be you
and leave a path
to follow

not breadcrumbs

(trust)

closely away

i can't keep saying
goodbye
to you

i can't keep thinking
soon

i have to live
and experience

and grow

the more i experience
the more i write

the more i can read to you

the more i live
the more i learn

the more i can share with you

with each step i take
away from you

i walk
closer to me

learning to be free
until our footprints
walk to-gether
again

(know)

all to herself

she keeps it all to herself

i doubt she does

she tells you

with that frustrated

sigh

that's nothing

and everything

all at once

she shows you

with that toss

of her hair

that frees the tension

of the moment

only for a second

she looks at you

with her heart in her eyes

and lies

about it being 

a good day

she keeps it all to herself

because you can't see

how hard it is

to let it be

and begin again

(listen)