snapshot

water
so much water
tempestuous
but true

pulling in
so fast
and
pushing out
so hard

almost like breathing

i sat
too weak to enjoy
the tide

watching him
dance
and glide

maneuvering
the power of the sea

conquering it
for me

and i followed
with my eyes
his taming
of the waves

urging
without speaking

drawing in
the ocean air

with all that was left of me

(learn)

distant lament

there are fears
that i cannot
take away

there are tears
that i cannot
wipe away

all i can do
is take you away
to a time
of calmness

all i can say
are words to take you
to a time
of comfort

and with each
breath
that we breathe
apart

time passes
to the time
when we're to-gether

hugging
stored up hugs
crying
stored up tears

storming through 
the emotions from
the distance between us

until there's
nothing left
but laughter

and the sun
shining shadows
behind our path

as we walk along

(soon)

questioning

yours was a world
i stepped into
decidedly

not knowing the
consequence of
my actions

and no matter
what seems to happen

good or bad

i find myself forever
drawn to you

caring for you
from afar

worrying what
my place will be

(and if i have the
courage
to fill it)

can i measure up
to the love
in your eyes

so blue and true?

you stand
face to face
with my foibles

breathing in
weaknesses
breathing out
truths

guiding me
without me knowing

turning me back
to the hope of
home

and all it could be
if i just let go

and dream

(grow)

i read

i read to eat.
i read to hear the voices of the past.
i read to learn.
i read to reassure myself of my place in the world.

i read to live.
i read to see.
i read to love deeper, breathe easier, and communicate what's inside of me better.

i read to be.
i read to let go.

i read.

(know)

a round

it's good
that i don't remember
what's bad from the past

it's bad
that i don't remember
what's good

of all the things
i wish life would bring

nothing will be as good as you
dear one

nothing will be as good as you

(know)

prayer of the silenced

the world
in eggshell perfection

waiting for a quake

my heart
in tender devotion

 hoping not to break

be alive again
be alive again

be

(soon)

stay

softly
the rain fell nearby

silencing
the city noises around us

and as we sat
in the darkness
looking into the sky

you leaned
your head
on my shoulder

i breathed in
the scent of your hair

warmed
by the nearness of your body

and i sat
as still as i could

hoping you wouldn't
turn away

hoping you would
stay the night
again

it was all i could do
to tell you

to stay

and the rain
splattered into sprinkles
for the rest of the night
waiting for an answer

(when)

undone

oh what a sad day
when my words
come back
to me

in syllables that
cut
without reason

what have i
taught?

what have i
wrought?

what must be
bought
to get rid of this
pain?

the pain i caused
by talking
out of turn

burning
without showing

dying
without knowing

how to begin again

(heed)

weight of your words

the deep tenderness
in your voice
makes up for all the hard things
that happened to-day

and even though
you're far away
the things you tell me
bring me closer to you

helping my thoughts
wander
to you

all this traveling
with the mind
will seem novel
when we think back
to these days

and the ways we coped
with these long, lonely nights

talk to me again,
slow this time

remind me that
times will change

re-tell the meaning
of your heart

as i start
to drift away

caught in the weight
of your words again


(stay)

audio version here:  https://soundcloud.com/jamison99/weight-of-your-words

identity

all i ever wanted to do
was be nice to you

but i find myself
needlessly explaining myself

and changing myself
to catch up to you

each time
i reach for my pen
i flinch

each time
i think about my sadness
i hide

each time
i try to be
the me i thought you liked
i fear

and search for a me
more acceptable
in your eyes

you are so wise
to what i'm not

how can i learn
to be who i am

and still make you smile?

(fade)