you

coloring in lines
well practiced
well versed

perverse in
all that you are

assuring me
that everything
you promised
was real

as you tried to
magnify
the fiction around
us

hoping to
find something
true
in your misery

while turning your
back to mine

climb back
up the vine
and disappear

nothing's clear
through your eyes
once more

life is torn
between what
is lined

and what is sketched
with illusion

(gone)

to you

write one more
sad poem about me

and see

jot down another word
that describes me

and see

look with sadness
at each post i fake

think of all the
mess you make

and see

what becomes of me
when you think i care

just see

that the troubles you
think i'm supposed to believe

won't make me grieve

any more than i grieve myself

(alone)

the key

it takes
a moment of silence
to understand

just a minute
to hear out
what's hurting inside

can you spare
a few seconds
to really find out
what's wrong?

sometimes
the mysteries you uncover
solve the troubles
within yourself

stop
and learn

go
and love

(do)

he didn't go

he didn't go

he didn't wake
from deep dreams
and tangled limbs

he didn't go

he didn't shower
in invigorating waters
and comb his hair

he didn't go

he didn't pick
a suit of perfect colours
and straighten his tie

he didn't go

he didn't breakfast
on childhood foods
and liquid encouragement

he didn't go

he didn't kiss
or hug away the pain
he didn't make things sane
on his way out the door

he didn't go

he didn't go

dropping eaves

scattered art
depicting what was
and what could have been

a touchstone
never looked at
but always there

discerning eyes
spy time after time
at the memorial of lingering

wishing she
could be a part
of something that was
so wonderful

so haunting

so memorable
that nothing is ever seen again

but felt

(vanish)

hidden

i tried to share

what was real with me

but you were too far too hear

i tried to share 

what was true with me

but you turned and walked away

i learned to hold

what was dear to me

deep inside my soul

before you could notice

what you did to me

when you turned and walked away

(go)

it happened

it did happen
even if you don't know
the reason

it happened
and it can't be
undone

and no matter
how much
you wish it away

it'll always be there
waiting for you
to deal with it

so face it

look it right in the eyes

tell it it won't rule your life

open the path 
to a thousand directions

each with its own soul

and learn 
how to come back
to yourself

it happened
but you can go
past the pain

and grow
with strength
in your future

no matter what comes

(try)

close comfort

there isn't any way
to tell you
what you mean
to me

i try
and the words
don't seem
special enough

you were a habit
from the beginning

a comfort
at the start
of our friendship

and when i thought
you had gone
i had to reach out
and say

"you doing ok?"

because
right from the beginning
i knew you were
special

and even though
i didn't really
know you

i knew
i wanted to know you
right 'til the end of my life

walk fast
past the worries of the future

walk fast
into the hollows of my heart

and stay

(grow)

sketched

just a shadow
to what you are

just an echo
of what you say

just an agreement
to whatever
you wish

just a thought
along the way

will you ever know
what i'm trying
to tell you?

or will i always be
the whisper
that you'll never
hear?

lost in the sounds
of reason and right

trapped in my heart again

(notice)

again

you didn't hear me

you didn't even try
to understand

you were all about you

and as your jokes
ran over the path
of my rational thinking

i sighed
and let you win

letting you make sense
with your nonsense

as i closed my heart again

(learn)

unknown

scarred
into what i am

far away from the girl
that i was

walking back
to what's normal

if i can

i don't think i'll ever
be the same

i don't think the rain
will cleanse me now

i don't know
whether i want to go back

to me

too tired
to sit still

to awake
to get my fill
of any in this imperfect life

where will i go now?

just wait
and see

and never believe again

(go)

lead on

you know

you call the shots to my heart

but instead 

of looking on helplessly

i learn from you

every time you lead

walking in someone's shadow

used to be so constricting

but with you i see the sun

in everything you do 

for me

lead me

to those dream filled days

where nothing else matters

but the dreams we make come true

(anew)

skeptically

not fine
for a while

not ok
by a long shot

not cured of anything
until they say so

why is the day so
out of sync?

give me one reason
to feel the faith
that you
so assuredly speak

and i will turn
my weak self away

and follow you
until the end of our days

oh may we grow strong to-gether

(truth)

forever sun

i felt alive once
i felt like i
could rule the world
i felt alive
and then the storm came

i felt hope once
i felt like everyone
was on my side
i felt hope
and then the clouds came

and in the darkness
i felt the rain
and in the sadness
i felt the pain

and i leaned
on the mutterings
of myself above others

imagining myself
far away from the crowd
dodging the shadows
avoiding all the clouds

teaching myself
over and over again
how to come back to myself
how to be me again

hopeful again
in the darkest days

on the hunt for the forever sun

(run)

scribbles

did you know
every poem
was about you?

did it trouble you
to see me
spill out my love
with every word?

did you wish
i would stop reaching
for the pen
instead of facing you
and talking to you?

or did you even read at all?

(write)