pause

put it in a ziploc

until it goes away

don't speak to anyone

until they all behave

don't listen to your heart

it always points away

put your life on pause

and simply walk away

(again)

remind

remind me again

what to wear on my sleeve 

besides my heart 

teach me again 

how to nod and smile outside 

while my insides fall apart 

i. keep. forgetting.

what i have to be

in order to cope

with what i can see

balled up fists

in hidden pockets

should do the trick

there's no one 

more sick of me 

than me

(be)

covert wedding poem

rehearsing

and nursing the part

the part that comes

from the heart

there's so much 

i want to say

to prove this is right

to show what is real

to learn from it all

what was 

supposed to happen 

happens now

may the child within you

grow

may the sadness within me

die

may we both learn 

to hope

no matter what happens 

around us

surround us with peace

and love

please

that's all i think we need

today, anyway

(betray)

cynical wedding poem

in the world of

supposed-to-haves

and could-have-beens

we stand in repose

to the point of dozing

waiting to say our lines

do we mean it this time?

do we feel the weight

of the words?

do we understand 

what we stand here saying?

and does it all matter

anyway

(nay)

empathy

we just

took a step together

why did you have to 

tear it apart

we just

said the word forever

why did you have to

break my heart?

if i just keep busy

and hide from my coworkers

the mother

the poet

the teenagers

then i'll be ok

my bright blues 

won't be blurred

by the serious browns 

watching me

no matter what they see

(hide)

retracings

 she cared so much

for you

eloquent words from

years of pain

i read them again and again

torturing myself

i suppose

after all, i'm different

or so i'd like to think

don't dive into the drink

too many times, poet

you're all the same to me

(redundance)

24/7

no chance to silence

myself

no chance to walk away

and calm myself

always on

always pleasing

always being the one ideal

(it isn't ideal)